We Revel in Nostalgia in Episode 259!
1/1/2024
I showed up, I said the thing. Can I go home now?
Is there any such thing as too much Spider-Man? The 2021 movie Spider-Man: No Way Home posits that of course there isn't! And our Merry Marvel Movie March agrees (for the most part). We may find the limits of our tolerance in 2024, as Adam has pointed out that there will be THREE Spider-Man-adjacent movies released... but none contain Spider-Man? An unusual year, to be sure!
Charlie makes reference to a meme about Gen Z not knowing who Willem Dafoe is, but when he tried to find it again to link to in the blog he couldn't. Does that mean he made it up in his head? Or, perhaps more likely, is Gen Z so embarrassed that they made sure to erase all traces of it from the internet? Watch out for our stunning expose on this story, sometime later maybe!!!
We Learn No Holiday Lessons in Episode 398!
12/25/2023
Nah, it's the clown ghosts you've got to worry about
[Editor's note: Since capitalist society puts "creating content" on a lower value rung than "stimulating the economy", the GW Report will not have an episode this week. However, we did happen upon a series of spooky cassette tapes at a garage sale that appear to be an episode of another podcast that, to our knowledge, was never released. Contemporaneous news reports suggest the participants disappeared and haven't been seen since. We found the following note wrapped around the tapes with a rubber band; the writing was either hurried and anxious or the result of vape-induced shakes. It is impossible to tell which. CONTENT WARNING: May contain Kylers.]
OK, this is episode 398, the second one with the clown ghost blood. I only put about 10 minutes on each tape just in case I hear something on the radio I like there's still space to record. Once I put it on my iPod it should be on the internet, as I understand it. Then I'll transcribe out onto a legal pad what I'm recording right now and label the episode. Oh, also I'm the co-host now. Yeah, I'll take three cartridges of the Juul Grape Ape Escape. Nah, no I don't have ID. Will you take this other card then? Thanks. And also a Powerball ticket. I can't use a card for that? Huh, never mind.
Adam has a Non-Urgent Emergency in Episode 257!
12/4/2023
Keep talking amongst yourselves, this might be a while
Episode 257 is not the first time we've discussed "urgency" and "emergency" in our podcast, and it certainly won't be the last. But it is the most recent, and so it's worth a listen!
If you want to explore the weirdness of Scavengers Reign completely spoiler-free, you can skip right from 10:08 to 16:54 in this episode. Adam may prefer that, since it then also makes it appear that he is in the bathroom a significantly shorter amount of time!
We Gather Great Minds in Episode 256!
11/21/2023
Like this, but pitch black
Rest assured that when Charlie has to gather a group of visionaries for The 1st Annual Gobeski/Wallace Report Summit, they will have some big ideas! Not GREAT ideas per se, but certainly consequential. And good news for those that live underground - your property value is about to increase exponentially! According to some, there will even be weather down there.
We reference too many news stories and absurd TV shows in this episode to be listed exhaustively, but we're always game for a prequel meme.
We Contemplate Seashells in Episode 255!
11/7/2023
Another Boomer refusing to change with the times
More Sci-Fi Shuffle coming at you, and this time it's the 1993 movie Demolition Man!
Screenwriter Daniel Waters put a lot of things in this movie that seem like they're a response to COVID but really he just thought were funny 30 years ago. So Comedy + Time = Tragedy? Interesting corollary, even if the math doesn't work out!
Before the world widely knew that a combination Taco Bell/Pizza Hut was possible, localization teams imagined you could only have one OR the other. Silly humans circa 1993!
Ugh, Doug keeps mentioning it, so we feel obligated to link to the definition of "Soy Boy".
We Technically Invent a Frasier-verse Spinoff in Episode 254!
10/23/2023
Tim Daly is too cool for crossovers
Tony isn't in episode 254... well, not the Tony that you're used to! In any case, he'll be happy to know that we talk "Wings", which is technically "Frasier" adjacent. We have all your favorite "Wings" cast members this time (unless you like Thomas Haden Church, he didn't show up).
In case you've been itching to get your hands on the complete "Wings" box set on DVD, here's your chance! Even the 1-star reviews complaining about the "atrocious" transfer still agree that it's a fantastic sitcom! Also – Becker! (This link was included exclusively for the benefit of Paul Wilcox.)
In case you don't believe that the air travel incident we discuss is real, behold. Unfortunately, it may have started a trend.
We Guide Humanity Towards Its Demise in Episode 253!
10/9/2023
Don't worry - some of them will disappear and this will become manageable
For all you Marvel fans, don't worry - we're back with another episode in our Merry Marvel Movie March. This time, we review the 2021 film Eternals! Was it as bad as reviews made it seem? You'll have to listen to find out!
In 100 years (or probably less), when movies are created entirely by AI, our descendants will probably say this sort of stuff. Why Kevin Feige is saying it now is less clear. Unless... is he also AI?
Marvel probably thought their Lizzo reference was future-proof. Joke's on them!
We Customize Our Nether Regions in Episode 252!
9/25/2023
Paul, playing Baldur's Gate 3
We talk a bit more about the endless possibilities of Baldur's Gate 3 in episode 252, including the chance that you may accidentally have sex with a clown.
Wait, the Lions...won? After only one game it's officially not the worst season the Lions have ever had!
Is the One Chip Challenge poison? Maybe! In any case, we will not be participating on the podcast.
Gosh, this Mr. Beast fellow can't catch a break, can he? Guess it goes to show that personal branding never, ever pays off!
In lieu of a more in-depth review from Paul, we guess you'll have to read this corporate food-speak article about the Gopuff Mean Tomato pizza.
We Dig in the Dirt in Episode 251!
9/11/2023
Stunt to sell a party game, or Paul's front yard?
While we seem to scrape the bottom of the barrel for topics in episode 251, it all comes together, as usual. You should know that we also talked about fraud, probable assassinations and dessert experimentation... and that's the stuff that got cut!
Man, people in the past sure were dumb and had no idea what was safe, especially for children! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go set up a TikTok account for my toddler so she can actually make money as an influencer in the coming social media hellscape of the future.
Much like its internet presence, The Holiday Hole disappeared as soon as it arrived.
Pepsi Colachup was briefly available to our Arizona and Michigan contingents. If you missed out, too bad! You can always mix the ingredients yourself at home, which we assume works out perfectly every time.
We Share Lifehacks for Graceful Aging in Episode 250!
8/28/2023
Best not to fake your death in case your family agrees for your funeral to be on Coffin Flop!
Charlie's topics inspire a record-low level of enthusiasm from Adam in episode 250. Perhaps because we didn't realize that it actually WAS a milestone episode before we started recording (likely), or maybe we just didn't want to set the bar too high for the next two-hundred fifty (also likely). In any case, this is what you get and don't forget that it's free!
Much like Alfred Nobel, you need to make some plans in case of your unexpected demise. Just what kind of legacy do you want to leave? We've got 250 podcast episodes, so we're set, but you really have your work cut out for you.
We're not going to make light of Hurricane Hilary, but as a follow up to the episode, you should know that, according to Adam, "it was cloudy, kind of windy, and it rained a little bit -- enough that I had to wash my car because it turned all the dust on it into mud and I couldn't see through the windows very well. But that's about it here [in Phoenix]".
We Throw in Pyrokinesis for Good Measure in Episode 249!
8/14/2023
Now I'm going to give you TWO choices here...
This week in episode 249, we continue the Sci-Fi Shuffle with the 1981 film Scanners! You can also read a Mental Floss article "10 Mind Blowing Facts About Scanners" (har har). Or you can read the Criterion essay. Or both we guess? Use your own time however you want.
Of course the two highlights of the entirety of the Star Trek universe are David Cronenberg's role in Star Trek: Discovery and the recent musical episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. And by sheer coincidence, we mentioned both in the episode this week!
We cut a brief aside in the episode where we sit and watch a YouTube clip of a face melting in Doctor Who. You don't have to listen to us watch it; watch it yourself!
We Concoct Spicy Kit Kats in Episode 248!
7/31/2023
SPARKS!
We only have two sanctioned episodes for recounting birthday gifts, so Doug and Kevin have to dig deep into their memory banks in episode 248. But as we all know from watching the Baldur's Gate 3 trailer, other things aren't so easy to forget.
Yes, Sparks played Milwaukee at least once, though possibly more? If only there were podcasts in 1983 to create a permanent record!
Mr. Beast's existence poses the question: Is it still altruism if you do it for likes? The answer is no. But in this imperfect universe, we'll take what we can get! And Adam's existence poses an entirely different question: what did this man just purchase at Best Buy that is too embarrassing to tell his friends about? And is it possible Mr. Beast and Adam are in fact the same person???????
Incontrovertible evidence?
We Debate Meat Plants in Episode 247!
7/17/2023
Why do you keep asking me to talk about your mother? Isn't this meat plant lecture entertaining enough?
More space stories coming at you in the 5th installment of our Sci-Fi Shuffle Series (we're shortening it to SFS soon, so deal with it!) as we talk about Prospect. It's got Pedro Pascal, back when he was only moderately famous! And one of the Duplass brothers (you know the one)! And guns that wind up, which is really cool except when you have to reload.
In case any of you want to be more learned than Doug, you can read up on Brandon Sanderson and The Stormlight Archive, as well as Roger Zelazny.
We Remember Live Music in Episode 246!
7/3/2023
Laura Doherty had better get out here soon! It's almost my four-year-old's bedtime!
We take a break from movies to get back to our REAL passion in episode 246: namely, discussing hyper-specific events from our past! This time around we talk about live concerts! What was the best concert we went to? What was the worst? And how is the answer to both questions for Charlie somehow the same Simon & Garfunkel show?
If you'd like to take a walk down your own personal concert memory lane, Concert Archives has you covered! There's also The Concert Database, if you're looking for a very specific Michigan-only website. Which, if you're on this website, is probably more likely than not.
Charlie mentioned Laura Doherty, so here's her official website! Charlie had a great time, so you should check her out!
We didn't just discuss concerts in this episode, though. Some other topics included McDonald's shameless vandalism of Grimace's page on the McDonald's wiki, which we unwittingly promoted on our last episode; the cluelessness of Secret Invasion's producer about the nature of AI "art"; and how Kanopy may not be the great deal Charlie has always thought it was.
And finally, here's some context for the tag: the story behind the design of that ITYSL egg game, and a fan-made version of the game you can play. (Please do note that both of those links are probably NSFW, unless your workplace also lets you look at a little porn at work.)
We Ponder The Grimace in Episode 245!
6/19/2023
In a way, I guess he's SAVING us from diabetes. Thank you, strange purple blob!
Another year, another Joe Piscopo Day! In honor of it, why not read the Wikipedia entry for Johnny Dangerously? We guess you could also watch the movie, but we know you are a very busy person.
Sure, you could get all your Grimace facts from the straight-laced folks at the McDonald's wiki, but for all your wildly speculative news, why not try GrimaceFans? (As we mention in the podcast, the site homepage doesn't seem to work properly, so we've linked to the Grimace timeline section).
Treat Williams's presence on the screen and in life will be missed. Jay Johnston's presence will probably not be missed as much.
We Watch a Very Nice Sony Bravia TV in Episode 244!
6/5/2023
I hate sound! But also I make lots of sound! And my girlfriend makes a lot of sound! Also, church bells!!!
Now that all the movies in the MCU are generally mid-to-high rated, it's nice to have a movie like Venom: Let There Be Carnage to head toward the bottom of our Merry Marvel Movie March scoring. It's not really a surprise that we were ambivalent about the sequel to a movie we were also ambivalent about, but sometimes you just need a "dumb guy" movie. Except Doug didn't like it either! Oh well, there's always Venom 3 to bring the franchise back to its roots!
We're guessing this is why 1973 is the birth of hip-hop (although it sounds like that date is actually up for debate).
Yes, the Lethal Protector is a thing that was specifically being referenced, as you probably suspected.
Wouldn't it be nice to be a famous enough actor that your costume department had to get special permission to create a jacket because you think a character from a completely unrelated movie was "so cool"?
Luckily, while incarcerated in a secret facility, Shriek not only had access to all Cletus Cassidy-related media, but had special permission to view this Ford Mustang website. So now you know!
Charlie was supposed to do a deep-dive about the relative level of phenethylamine in chocolate and human brains, but after about 15 minutes of looking at scientific papers realized this seemed a lot like what he does at work. Suffice it to say, the stuff is found in brains but is also a byproduct of fermentation. So Venom might try cheese, natto, yogurt, all that stuff before he insists on beheading anyone else. But who are we to yuck someone else's yum?
We Don't Ask About the Tables in Episode 243!
5/22/2023
Eddie Munster strikes again
Episode 243 is kind of a weird melange of topics (or Topix, if you will). It's pretty hard to describe. Overall, it's like the "special sauce" in Doug's potato chips: basically Thousand Island dressing with a smattering of I Think You Should Leave references.
The Techno Viking meme is 17 years old, but gotta say, it still holds up.
Go see Adam in the Great American Trailer Park Musical at Fountain Hills Theater in Fountain Hills, Arizona, this weekend or the next! Eagle-eyed attendees may be able to spot Tony Huff in the audience!
Spoilers for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom in this article! You're better off reading about the 90s graphic adventures that were part of the Gobliiins series.
We Dream of the Bean in Episode 242!
5/8/2023
Another explosion, another 8 minutes of "Minions: The Rise of Gru"
We've got a brand new Sci-Fi Shuffle discussion: this week we're discussing the 2011 movie Source Code. We've even got special guest Dan Hess back to talk about his favorite time loop movies. Apologies that his voice comes across as robotic for a few minutes - that's Charlie's connection wreaking havoc on the audio quality yet again!
Dan urges you to check out Brandon at Random Reviews and we do as well!
Even after the apocalypse of Death Stranding, there is still no escaping corporate branding. And also, Kabuki Quantum Fighter and Beneath a Steel Sky links so you understand all of our video game references (sorry Jessie!).
The movie has many cinematic inspirations, but also some real life ones involving amateur tinkering with radioactive materials!
We Trust the Process in Episode 241!
4/24/2023
No, don't waste film on THIS!
It's been more than 100 episodes, but we finally managed to secure Q Jackson as a guest again for episode 241. Well, "secure" may not be the right word, as he may not even be on a physical plane at the moment. And he certainly isn't safe. But he's communicating vaguely about his confusing life and that's really all you can ask!
What's that? You have no memory of actor Q Jackson? I guess that may not be that surprising, given the level of cinema his works aspire to. But if you did want to check out our last interview with him, you can find that here - just be warned that something like 275 more Wolfsmarine "films" have been released since then.
We Decide Not to Anticipate the Future in Episode 240!
4/10/2023
Good luck with those squirrels, I'm just gonna submerge myself in this smelter
We always knew Charlie could bring about plagues, but things are getting a bit ridiculous in episode 240. Disease and vermin: check. No frogs or blood yet, but we'll see what happens when he plans another Arizona trip next year.
Lot of video game links this week. New ratings on the NES Ratings Page, including some comments from Celeste Wallace! In a surprising update, Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular is still not good! And speaking of video game updates, that Monolith puzzle from Fez is... still not really explained. And to clarify (and to confirm Paul's memory), Dark Forces did get a Mac release.
In case you didn't know what Paul was talking about, here's T'ird!
We do mention a text from Doug during the episode. You may have guessed its nature from context, but on this show we are nothing if not explicit!
Disgusting yet relatable
We're Friends with a Secret Martial Arts Expert in Episode 239!
3/27/2023
Bus fights are the best fights
We finish up Merry Marvel Movie March Madness this year with a movie we all really enjoyed - Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. It has still never gotten a proper release in China, and the release in the States induced a bit more COVID-related anxiety than we'd have liked. But you can view it at home now, so no more excuses!
So is Simu Liu awesome, just "okay", or a goblin who should hide in a deep cave for all eternity? Opinions abound!
Paul will be happy to know that according to this Wikipedia article, Hundun appears in the Warriors Orochi video game series as a boss and a playable character. We're sure Jessie must already know this, since she has exhaustively played all of them.
Sir Ian McKellan knows about acting, and has been very vocal about how it is to be done. It should be noted that his advice has changed over the years.
We Fall for a Long Time in Episode 238!
3/13/2023
Death from a long fall? Not a chance!
Welcome back to Merry Marvel Movie March Madness! You only get two episodes in a row this year, but we do kick off Phase 4 of the MCU with an episode about Black Widow.
Here's an article with some pictures of Black Widow's comic look through the years. And here's the Wikipedia article about the comic version of Taskmaster!
Adam mentions in the podcast that Disney announced a less packed schedule for the MCU coming up; here's the source on that. And in case you want to know what movies precisely ended up on Disney+ Premier Access back in the dark days of the pandemic, TechRadar has you covered.
Even though the lawsuit brought by Scarlett Johansson was compelling in a car-wreck sort of way, we now have the benefit of hindsight to know it was what we suspected all along - PR posturing for leverage in an eventual settlement.
And because Charlie mentioned it in the podcast, and we'll never pass up an opportunity to reuse this gif:
We Wear Some Really Cool Outfits in Episode 237!
2/27/2023
Check out my new smart watch, tiny pet!
Our Sci-Fi Shuffle series gets a little weird when we talk about Fantastic Planet. But sci-fi is often weird! We mean, it's not always NIGHTMARE-INDUCING, Cronenberg weird like this is. Well, except when it's actually Cronenberg. But we digress.
Kevin mentioned an illustrated fairy tale video called "The Fool and the Flying Ship", which you can actually watch on the Internet Archive! It's narrated by Robin Williams, so check it out! And here's some info on that anime short film Paul mentioned. It sounds as weird as promised!
Would YOU like to read an essay from a film historian that might deepen your appreciation for this movie? Well then Criterion has you covered!
And we regret to inform you that composer Alain Goraguer has passed away since the recording of this episode.
We May Have Had an AI Generate Our Topics in Episode 236!
2/13/2023
Exactly the sort of thing an AI would predict we need right now
In previous episodes we dabbled in AI-based art, but we really get into the heart of the matter in episode 236. Of course, the real Turing test for a podcast-generating AI would be to see if it knew to put up the blog post 1-2 days late to imitate Charlie. If it's on time, you know the show has been taken over by machines!
ChatGPT received a "mediocre" score on that law exam. Next up: seeing if it can land a job in a terrible market for law grads, or if it will be crushed under the weight of crippling debt (we're hoping for the latter)!
CNET has found that writing retractions is still cheaper than paying a human to write.
The WotC Dungeons & Dragons OGL debacle was over almost as soon as it started. And smaller businesses reap the rewards! What's not to love?
Yes, we watched The Simpsons obsessively, and no reference can sneak by us.
Here's the NYT article about Ke Huy Quan that Adam references in the podcast. And go see Everything Everywhere All at Once in theaters, while you still can!
The Big New Yorker is back! Can it possibly live up to our childhood sensory memories? We're almost scared to try it, for fear of being disappointed. But you know who isn't afraid? Paul Wilcox! Much like a kaiju ravaging the East Coast, he's probably eaten several Big New Yorkers by now and there are no signs of his rampage dissipating!
We Lose All Sense of Linear Time in Episode 235!
1/30/2023
Not to be confused with "Hugh Mann"
Installment 2 of our Sci-Fi Shuffle has us hugging our loved ones in between bouts of intense philosophizing with a discussion of the 2016 film Arrival.
Here are a couple links regarding the Sanskrit word for war, in case you wanted to dive deeper into that topic. And although we're reliably told her Mandarin pronunciation isn't really up to par, you can at least learn just what Louise actually said to General Shang.
As you may remember from the previous Sci-Fi Shuffle episode, Adam had a running bit where he commented that our sister podcast, Cinematic Respect, was no longer accessible on the internet. He tried to continue that joke here, but Charlie thwarted him by actually fixing the website. So let's all celebrate by listening to an episode about another Denis Villeneuve SF film, 2017's Blade Runner 2049.
It's once again time for "Philosophy Corner"! Please do the required reading on causal loops, eternal recurrence/return, and the Aboriginal concept of time.
Kevin mentions Dr. Manhattan without providing context, but that's what this blog is for! In case you don't know, Dr. Manhattan is a character from the seminal comic book "Watchmen"; here's a Reddit thread briefly explaining how he perceives time.
And we didn't learn about this until after we recorded the episode, but if you've ever complained about the super dark scenes in Game of Thrones, it seems you have Arrival to thank for that.
Doug Eats Things that Only Sound Like Food in Episode 234!
1/16/2023
Humanity strives to make the inedible edible once again
We talked a lot about urinal cakes in episode 234, but most of it got cut. And yet there's so much we still left in! Mostly we recounted Christmas gifts and ran taste tests though. 'Tis the season!
And those cake links, for the curious.
Paul references the New Year's resolution game from "Triple Click" as a way to potentially get us to punish each other with our idiosyncratic tastes. But we didn't bite! Only passive-aggressive suggestions for these guys!
It's unlikely Salt Bae was punished for his unauthorized access to the World Cup. Better to ask forgiveness than permission. Better yet, don't ask for either!
Here's the links to borderline intuitive bacon-infused vodka, Lay's limited edition vodka, and what I like to call "The REAL Prisoner's Dilemma".
We Travel Beyond the Infinite in Episode 233!
1/2/2023
Nothing humans love more than classical art and floor-inset lighting, right?
A new year means it's time for a new conceit: episode 233 is the first in our series "Sci-Fi Shuffle", beginning with a special double-length episode all about 2001: A Space Odyssey. Because who doesn't love more movies? But we take a more holistic approach than our Merry Marvel Movie March. There's just two rules: it has to be sci-fi, and the next person chooses whatever sci-fi movie they want! So we'll do the best, and presumably the worst, movies you could hope for. Stay tuned, whenever our episode schedule permits!
Read the most recent Sight and Sound poll for context on this episode, and all those Jeanne Dielman references from previous episodes.
While we couldn't remember the exact details of the 2001 re-release, we can certainly post about it here.
If you'd care to read the original "Sentinel of Eternity" that 2001 is loosely based on, the Internet archive has you covered.
Unmanned pre-Apollo US lunar missions include: the Ranger program, the Lunar Orbiter program, and the Surveyor program.
And finally, Merzbow, Paul's favorite noise maker.
Santa is Duped Again in Episode 232!
12/19/2022
New Year's Resolution: No more AI generated images as the blog image
Strange things are afoot at the North Pole in episode 232. Don't ask us how we acquired this audio; we never reveal our sources! But in the fight between immortals and billionaires, it's hard to really root for either side. To quote the Who (like we do every Christmas): "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss".
And we are happy to announce Phase V (5) of the GW Report (Christmas Edition), featuring the following films:
- San-two Claus is Coming to Town
- Rude Elf the Red-Faced Reindeer
- Wolfsmarine Saves Christmas
- San-two v. Santuna: Dawn of Christmas
- The Santuna Clause
- Spirited Away
We Get Catfished by Food Network Stars in Episode 231!
12/5/2022
I said HOLD the eyeballs!
It's the holidays again, and that gives us an idea: let's scam Kohl's in episode 231! Sure, the return policies are byzantine to say the least, but soon we'll be Kohl's Cash Kings! Just be prepared to stand in the customer service line for eons.
I want (an oral history of the Mary Kate and Ashley song about) pizza! But why don't you slow that song down for us, Internet?.
Correction to the podcast: The actor Kier Dullea's last name is pronounced du-LEI ([dʊ.'leɪ], if you're an IPA fan). We regret the error, and apologize profusely.
We Go Way Too Deep Into the Munizverse in Episode 230!
11/21/2022
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Our favorite Frankie is just as surprised as us that he wound up on episode 230. We guess it's just our shared history that makes him feel obligated to appear on our show, despite becoming the world's most eccentric billionaire/villain/oil baron. And we don't take the label "most eccentric billionaire" lightly, especially not these days!
You might have originally been thinking Frankie was referring to the teletransportation paradox, but he wasn't! He probably meant The Transporter Paradox, whereby Jason Statham transports humans between destinations so quickly, they appear to arrive at their destination BEFORE they even left! Maybe we'll have to ask Mr. Statham himself about it on a future episode? We're sure Frankie can connect us!
You understood our World on a Wire reference because of course you have listened to every single one of our episodes, including episode 173.
We Lift Our Way Out of Trouble in Episode 229!
11/7/2022
An unstoppable horny force meets an immovable randy object
The Merry Marvel Movie March is back, baby... with a movie we initially decided to skip! That's right, it's time for that appendix to the March that we always threatened you with, and we kick it off with 1985's Red Sonja. But don't worry, it's right back to the regular MMMM for the next installment, so you'll have perhaps YEARS to wait for the next Appendix entry!
No, Kevin was not crazy: that character was pretty amped up about swordfighting.
Cinco has a MIDI Organizer, and a B'ougar, products that are almost as in-demand as cheese liqueur.
We Taste Everything in Episode 228!
10/24/2022
Who knows how deep the chip hole goes?
Despite the title and description of episode 228, this is primarily an episode where we do taste tests. So why do we talk so much about churros, and yet we've never eaten a churro on the podcast? Dare we consider a segment called "Churro with Charlie"? It's too well named to not exist!
Now you too can learn about Dewitt's best-loved tortilla-based school lunch item!
And behold: (mostly AI-generated) Churro Art!
We Get Jacked For Real in Episode 227!
10/10/2022
I've got one word for you... snowjob!
All of our mitigating forces (a.k.a guests) are absent in episode 227. Of course that means that the podcast format has completely changed. We're rebranding as Frasier vs Frasier, a podcast comparing episodes of the classic TV sitcom Frasier against the new reboot, specifically through the lens of Kelsey Grammar's dubious political views. (We're assuming this was Tony's "monkey's paw" wish.)
Wow, "Gobob vs Snowjob" was over 11 years ago! Now that's a callback!
Since the days of the TV show Lost, J.J. Abrams has been well known for his surprising, yet baffling reveals. Here's his most recent!
Even Charlie is beginning to regret his adoption of streaming over physical media after the most recent apocalyptic event in entertainment. Oh well, movies and TV were great while they lasted, but 100+ years was a pretty good run!
We Celebrate a Less Popular Milestone in Episode 225!
9/26/2022
And we celebrate with a bucket of spaghetti, of course
A lot has changed in 15 years, but we just keep the episodes coming, as episode 225 proves! (Wait, 15×15=225...is THAT why Adam insisted the 15th anniversary episode be #225?) Of course tonight, we will all be eating our own individual buckets of spaghetti in honor of the occasion. Wait, there's a restaurant that already sells that? Guess we won't have to get out the hose to spray down our own Lowe's buckets!
The Ypsilanti Water Tower continues to fascinate and attract all sorts of curious tourists. Or so we're told!
The Count: Censored. Now you are aware.
If you listened to the episode, you know about Terriers, Andy Barker, P.I., and the elusive phenomenon that is Ed. Hollywood is officially on notice that we want all of these shows BACK for more seasons, regardless of talent availability! You must cater to our specific interests! [Note to Hollywood: we'll also settle for an arrangement that lets us see Ed again.]
We Eat Without Shame in Episode 226!
9/12/2022
Bottoms up
Episode 226 coins the term "freedom meal", a term we can't believe didn't already exist. What's YOUR freedom meal? No judgement! We'll make sure to relate the results on the show at some point, anonymously if requested.
(And no, you didn't miss episode 225; Adam just insisted that this be episode 226, even though it's the one after 224. I don't understand either, but presumably he'll one day make it clear to us why this was so important to him.)
We also refuse to judge Bob Odenkirk. In fact, we give him the Jeremiah Johnson nod of approval.
This episode we learned about a musical sequence from Blues Brothers 2000 and secret character names in Interstellar and the Star Wars universe. Plus the origins of...Jizz music. Truly an enlightening episode!
We Get a Brief Respite in Episode 224!
8/29/2022
A humble, yet murderous beginning
Now that we've progressed in earnest through a large chunk of the Merry Marvel Movie March so far, we decided to take stock in episode 224. We drop the veil slightly because we've reached such a huge milestone, but not enough that Charlie will admit he likes shields, or that Doug will admit that any opinion he's ever had was wrong.
Doug compiled some stats, which was super awesome of him! Some of note:
- Highest Rated Film: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Avg score: 10/10)
- Lowest Rated Film: Fant4stic (Avg score: 2.2/10)
- Average Rating (for those present for over half the March): Adam (7.21), Charlie (6.76), Doug (7.15), Paul (7.48), Tony (7.49)
As it turns out, not every celebrity keeps up with every meme adjacent to work they participated in. We know, disappointing isn't it?
We Spend an Unexpected Amount of Time Watching Buffy in Episode 223!
8/15/2022
Charlie's nightmare - being encased in a shield
What we can't really call "Phase 1" of our Merry Marvel Movie March draws to a close (maybe "Merry Marvel Movie March Module 1" instead?), as we review The New Mutants, a film that somehow got a 2020 theatrical release, despite, y'know, everything.
The end of this first part of the March means we'll be taking a short break while Phase 4 of the MCU finishes up in November (so that we can sagely and holistically look at all the Phase 4 movies and go, "Yeah, they weren't really building to anything, were they?"), but that doesn't mean we won't go back and start our Merry Marvel Movie March Addendum. Or maybe we won't! Depends how many "special guests" show up while Paul is in the bathroom.
You may be shocked to learn that we've got some more taste tests for you in this episode, so you should make sure to read the reference material. Of course there are required readings for ephemeral pop flavors; we take these things very seriously here at GWR.
We Put Another Clip Show "2"-gether for Episode 222!
8/2/2022
Not this kind of clip; sorry, paperclip fans, maybe next time
We've got "2" many "2"-riffic clips "2" give you here on "2"-sday, August "2", "2"0"2""2" in episode 222! It's "2"-tally "2"-mendous and not at all "2" labored a pun (even if we did delay it a day to add a couple extra 2s)! And yet, perhaps not our most two-centric episode? That's what happens when you set the bar so high!
Some quick hits for you to help explain bits of the episode, as always:
- Because you may have long since forgotten Sassy Justice was a thing.
- The appropriate meme for when Doug starts explaining the blockchain.
- Sure, now we understand Donald McDonald, thanks to this link, but why not – and hear us out – Dennis McDonald?
- Remember the last time we discussed Carl Paladino? It's ok to say no, it was almost 12 years ago. Yet somehow He's Back! A Dinosaur's Story. (Sorry Paul, at least we got this joke in here, even if nowhere else.)
We Create Elaborate Illusions in Episode 221!
7/18/2022
Unstable but stylish
Installment 70 of our Merry Marvel Movie March is a review of Spider-Man: Far From Home, the final pre-COVID Marvel release. Even though we still have a lot of questions about "The Blip" (including what happened to people who were in airplanes when they reappeared...), this movie doesn't seem to be too interested in that. Which is OK! Killer drones and European sightseeing is more than enough for us!
Will Charlie hate S.W.O.R.D. as much as he hates S.H.I.E.L.D.? It remains to be seen. But it seems almost impossible at this point. (And was it even S.W.O.R.D. in the movie? Adam thought so, but the internet disagrees!)
While Doug did throw some updated references into the podcast that were eventually cut ("Zendaya is Meechee"), the ones that stay in may need some explanatory links for all the Zoomers out there. Case in point.
It Just Takes Some Time in Episode 220!
7/4/2022
Shenaniganza sneaks up on us again
Even though Charlie roundly refused to participate, this year's Shenaniganza went off without a hitch, as we discuss in episode 220. Well, actually there were more hitches than usual. But, hey, three out of four people being COVID-free ain't bad (when compared to the national average).
The gang regrets forgetting to mention one of the most enduring bits, which involved Paul moving into Adam's library full-time and declaring squatters' rights. I guess he liked it in there? As with most things Shenaniganza, it was a hilarious bit that you probably had to be present for in order to appreciate.
It's undeniably Morbin' Time. We'd discuss it more, but we'll wait for more developments leading to our Merry Marvel Movie March review.
Century eggs require patience that we don't really possess. Better to just drink all the available Mountain Dew flavors. Or in Doug's case, buy them and forget about them.
The board game Evolution has that Fat Tissue card which seemed to get Paul all riled up. And who can blame him!
And finally, AI's best attempt at creating Tony and Paul's bowling alley:
The bowling alley where you're sure to make a splash!
We Commit the Crime of Strained Wordplay in Episode 219!!
6/21/2022
Arguably better than Charlie's Photoshop ability
Just when you think there isn't enough Joe Piscopo-related material for an entire episode, you reach back a few years into the crime blotter and pull out episode 219. Will our latest Piscopo Day celebrity be a Piscopony or a Piscobrony this year? Much like seasoned interviewer Tom Snyder, you'll just have to listen.
Oh yeah, in case you don't remember (or never knew) who Tom Snyder, Linda Ellerbee and Edwin Newman are, we've got you covered. Be warned: this information will only be important to know for this one episode, but it may take up space in your brain forever. Decide if it's worth it before clicking the links!
While the baby name Arliss did enjoy a slight uptick in the '90s associated with the TV show (presumably), it looks like it's once again making a comeback. Of course, if you don't use dollar signs for S's then you've named your child after the character, not the show, so someone will have to analyze that data to determine the true Arli$$ bump. Another fun fact: the title of the show is spelled wrong on the official HBO website.
We Air Our Clearly Wrong Opinions in Episode 218!
6/6/2022
It's whatever flavor you want it to be
Finally, another episode with Doug as the only guest! And no one came with topics! But as usual, everything works out just fine in episode 218.
Star Trek: The Next Generation actually premiered when Adam was 5 years old, not 4. So please, STOP SENDING CORRECTIONS! Our email box is nearly full on this one and if you keep sending them, we will never get other potentially critical corrections to the podcast!
Jubilee Jumbles are perhaps the most delightfully named cookie. Well, except for Caramel deLites.
Turns out that even if you DO live in the Midwest, you probably don't know what Blue Moon ice cream really is.
And here's that Lightyear meme Doug was talking about.
We Press the Red Button Again in Episode 217!
5/23/2022
Aliens LOVE dance clubs circa 2003
It's hard to believe we're reviewing our *fourth* Men in Black movie in installment 69 of our Merry Marvel Movie March: Men in Black: International. For a franchise that has the whole universe open for exploration, it's a little weird to have so much centered in, say, Paris. [Hey, it's MiB: International, not Interplanetary, Interstellar, or Intergalactic. –Editor Adam] Still, as a movie that in part pays homage to James Bond, it would perhaps be uncharacteristic to travel to space (Moonraker notwithstanding).
As bizarre as a 21 Jump Street/Men in Black crossover sounds, it would likely have been much more entertaining than what we got. And if nothing else, maybe it would have been a smoother production than the finished product. [On the other hand, it's not like Solo was a cakewalk with the Lord and Miller team. –Adam again]
Paul knows Cool as Ice, and that's nice. During the episode, Charlie got it confused with Ninja Rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (as one does).
We Realize Not Everything Should Be Flamin' Hot in Episode 216!
5/9/2022
This man is NOT to be trusted!
Bad things are happening in the world, and we touch on almost all of them in episode 216. Elon Musk buying Twitter, unusual Dew flavors, and apparently a new strain of toilet-destroying COVID would be enough to turn us into ranting doomsday preppers, but... those MAGICIANS. We finally get it; the end IS nigh. Who knew?
Oh yeah, Baja Blast is tropical lime. Officially. And also not as likely to cause death as non-blue raspberry flavors.
Doug found the best description of Charlie's bad texting habits in comic/tweet form. And while we're on the subject of tweets, here's the Mert doctrine one Doug mentions in the episode.
Apparently We Can Just Go to Space in Episode 215!
4/25/2022
What do you think of our space-worthy Blackbird? It's just something we whipped up in our spare time, no big deal
Unlike the actors in Dark Phoenix, we try not to sound bored in the 68th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March, a.k.a. episode 215. To be fair, our conversation is much more entertaining than the movie itself. But at least we have a better X-Men film to look forward to with... *voice raises an octave* New Mutants?
Adam wasn't lying, Simon Kinberg did own the failure of the movie. Well, sort of. But hey, if he's happy with it then at least somebody is, right?
The Nerdist thinks the best adaptation of the Dark Phoenix story happened in the 90s cartoon, partly because the show also took the time to separately adapt the Phoenix Saga rather than shoehorn it into the first 20 minutes of a Dark Phoenix movie. We wish we could agree or disagree, but, alas, the March doesn't take TV episodes into consideration, no matter how much Disney+ might try to convince us otherwise.
And here's your chance to learn about the rich history of the D'bari race that the movie just completely ignored!
We Order Our Drinks Without Ice in Episode 214!
4/11/2022
No I will NOT wear a jacket!
Whether or not we have a set agenda for a recording, we always come up with some fun topics, and episode 214 is no exception. Be on the lookout for our upcoming sketch comedy show based only on casual dining situations, streaming exclusively on Seeso!
Paul talks about the show Max X, while we discuss a couple of very specific hard candies.
Here's the "14 beers at Chili's" meme, which is also the blog photo! And as long as we're talking casual dining, here's all the info you probably want about Kewpee Burger. And as long as we're talking about memes, don't (ever) forget about Cheezburger.com.
Finally, here's the explanation of the duplicate Ben Folds songs, as well as YouTube links to Bitch Went Nuts and its "fake" counterpart Bitch Went Nutz.
We Try Not to Break Time in Episode 213!
3/28/2022
So much IP, it literally won't fit in the frame!
Even though Avengers: Endgame seems like a natural place to end the MCU portion of our Merry Marvel Movie March, we all know better by now. It's a burden that our children and our children's children will have to bear as well, as eventually every Marvel character ever introduced will have their own movie or Disney+ show. Thus, we look forward to the inevitable Obnoxio the Clown film.
Disney loves nothing more than to pat itself on the back while maintaining the bottom line. Case in point.
Turns out Kevin Feige is a Star Trek fan. This was a surprise to exactly no one.
We assume you are some type of nerd if you are listening to our podcast, but you may be an engineering nerd and not even know it. Behold: Practical Engineering!
And no, your eyes didn't deceive you: that was indeed Howard the Duck in the background during the climactic battle.
We Seemingly Beat Up Old Ladies in Episode 212!
3/14/2022
Example number 3,251 demonstrating why civilians in the Marvel universe should avoid mass transit
Installment 66 of our Merry Marvel Movie March brings us to the eminently enjoyable 2019 film Captain Marvel. We're nearing the end of Phase 3 of the MCU, so hang tight as we continue Merry Marvel Movie March Madness into our next episode this month!
In case you've forgotten Boss Nass, he's the guy who vigorously shakes his head back and forth, presumably spraying slobber on everyone in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. That's how you remember him too, right?
Carol Danvers smashing into the Blockbuster store is indeed the first scene in the trailer for Captain Marvel.
We had some arguments offline about whether Sam Jackson's fingerprint-tape trick would actually work or not as shown. But we can all agree that it works comedically, so we're glad it was successful!
Unicorn Store was one of those movies that just showed up on Netflix and then no one really talked about again. Except for Brianne! And it is a solid, very fun movie, so check it out!
We Talk About Everything in Episode 211!
2/28/2022
I'm very serious... about music!
Happy Super Tuesday! That's what we were calling 2/2/22, right? We mean, we've got a whole episode about it so it better not mean anything else!
There is evidence that Doug may have been right in his pronunciation of the "Tal" in Tal Bachman. But Adam was only willing to dive down the rabbit hole so far for answers, so we still rate this as "Inconclusive".
If you're someone who wants your music library to reflect, we dunno, music you actually want to listen to? You can remove "Songs of Innocence" from your iTunes account, but it may involve talking to an actual person. Of course, as we determined in the episode, U2 fans are so lazy they wouldn't go to the trouble!
And as we also discuss in the episode, the Nintendo eShop for Wii U and 3DS is closing. Plan (and spend) accordingly! Also worth noting that it turns out Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice does in fact have DLC; you need to start the game before the option to purchase it shows up on the main menu, however.
We Take a Strong Stance Against Avunculicide in Episode 210!
2/14/2022
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Happy Valentine's Day! We celebrate with the latest installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March, talking about 2018's Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse! It's the most romantic animated movie in our March yet!
Paul mentions Red Notice, a Netflix original movie that's somehow the most popular movie of all time – at least if you're willing to put complete faith in Netflix's self-reporting of viewing numbers. But Adam did catch his father-in-law watching it, so who knows!
And speaking of passing mentions, Adam namedrops Kirby Krackle, which is the term for those black dots that show up in both comics and in this movie. There's some history here if you want to learn more.
Sorry, other Marvel songs, Spidey-Bells has stolen our hearts (well, except for Paul, who remains true to "Home of the Brave" from the 1990 Captain America movie). It's part of A Very Spidey Christmas, which you can listen to by clicking that link right there. Because nothing says Valentine's Day like parodies of Christmas songs played out of season!
We Get Submerged in Oil in Episode 209!
1/31/2022
Oil means Quality
Episode 209 is sure to be looked back upon as the beginning of the end of reality as we know it. Of course, that's to be expected whenever we talk to our favorite celebrity oil/tech baron!
On the subject of candy, the HersheyLand website will answer all your questions, creepy or otherwise. And here's a piece on the green M&M, because it's important that people have vocal opinions about everything all the time.
DaBaby's homophobic comments: a subject on which everyone also has an opinion, but probably more worth discussing.
We're pretty sure Food Court does not exist, and that this IMDb entry is simply a placeholder to keep others from using the name. But too bad, the name has been used appropriately anyway to entertaining effect.
And a reminder that "Nightman" is sometimes the actual answer.
We Practice Proper Dental Hygiene in Episode 208!
1/17/2022
The best way to say "I love you". And why not say it 50 times?
Everyone knows that Christmas Day begins on December 25 each year. But did you know that it doesn't end until Adam and Charlie release an episode recounting their gifts? Just be glad that it lasted less than a month this year!
We didn't Photoshop that blog photo: you can actually buy those Jimmy Fallon cards online. Limit 50 per credit card (more than that and the purchase will be flagged as suspicious by the credit card company).
Even if Bill Knapp's is gone as a restaurant, the Bill Knapp's name lives on as an outlet bakery in Saline, MI. Oh, and maybe the name lives on, like, through the actual family too. That's always a possibility.
Dan Hess has a tajine, which means he's inviting us all over for dinner, we presume. And maybe after we can play a board game that isn't Resident Evil 2.
Mickey Mouse tried to commit suicide back in the 30's, as we're pretty sure we've mentioned before. We're glad he didn't though! Just think of all the IP we would have been robbed of over the years!
We Pile Up Bodies and Heads in Episode 207
1/3/2022
Yes, I agree that motorcycles are cool but – and I'm just spitballing here – maybe just swim away?
It's fair to say that the next movie in our Merry Marvel Movie March is refreshingly different from the MCU fare that we've been watching recently – but that's not necessarily a good thing. We're of course talking about 2018's Venom in episode 207. It's the most difficult movie for us to rate so far!
Adam was not joking: SPUMC was a real thing. It still is, we suppose, since ideas never really die, they just get renamed.
How do you pronounce "symbiote"? Leave it to the cast of Venom to muddy the waters.
Though Charles Rocket's career would lead you to believe that there is no salvation after dropping an F-bomb on Saturday Night Live, Jenny Slate has had reasonable success since her slip-up. And there is a long, storied history of the word's use on the show, with varying punitive action taken. It may be a few centuries before we have enough data to say anything definitive. Of course, by then, SNL will be written by robots, for robots, and occasionally hosted by Alec Baldwin.
Time for Christmas Stuff in Episode 8!
12/20/2021
At a farmer's market near you, sometimes
[Editor's note: As is tradition here at the Gobeski/Wallace Report, we've taken the holiday season off from podcasting. Instead, we bring you an episode from a different podcast -- and this time Charlie was a guest star on it! We'll let them take it from here...]
Hi fellow Butt Enthusiasts! They said it could never happen, but here we are with episode 8 of Butt Stuff and we still haven't been canceled. Lance says the "wake up police" are always trying to do this, but I guess our ratings are good enough for now!
Here is a link defining Christmas in case you are not familiar with the holiday. This is another thing Lance is always saying they are trying to cancel, but we hope that spreading the word about this magical day will raise awareness and understanding!
Also I don't think you can find our Butt Logs via the web from Gogle. Here is (genuinely) the first search result for "butt logs" which discusses butt quality, butt rot, and butt swell (which is considered a defect, though I've always been a fan).
And a special thanks to the LumberJaXXX establishment and eatery, although I cannot find that internet website either. But here is the song they play every night there though.
We Get So Large We Fall Asleep in Episode 205!
12/6/2021
A formative day for Daniel Gooobler
It's been almost one year since we reviewed Ant-Man for our Merry Marvel Movie March, so is it coincidence that episode 205 is a review of Ant-Man and the Wasp? We dare you to disprove it!
Paul Rudd is officially People's Sexiest Man Alive. It was announced on "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" in two segments, which makes it all the more sexy.
We don't make comments about seemingly unrelated Marvel characters during the podcast without proper reference material. To that end, read about Sentry.
The Quantum Realm works because... it just does. It may be based on the Microverse, which explains some things but not others. Man, if Charlie can "just go with it", why are you asking questions anyway??
If you're interested in seeing the completely digital end-credit sequence from Ant-Man and the Wasp again, you can do so here.
We Never Shower for Work Again in Episode 204!
11/22/2021
Are we watching a presentation about an octopus, or is an octopus watching a presentation about us...?
Though we know that talking about Overlord Zuck only increases his power, we can't resist discussing the metaverse in episode 204. So what is the metaverse? Don't think of it as a way to distract from how terrible Facebook is, think of it as whatever your heart desires! Which in our case is a virtual interactive space where avatars can listen to cassette tapes of our podcast episodes. (Most can be contained on one double-sided cassette!)
It's fun to imagine Zucker-borg as a poorly programmed android, or perhaps a lizard person. However, we think it's even MORE fun when you realize he's just the most awkward human being in the world.
Oh yeah, this job posting was real. We like to imagine an "unplanned visit" by your boss as one where they wander blindly into your home by accident, and profusely apologize for the inconvenience.
We Introduce and Murder Many Cool Characters in Episode 203!
11/9/2021
Stockholm Syndrome that warms the heart
We're making up lost ground by reviewing two movies (sorta...?) in this episode of our Merry Marvel Movie March with episode 203, a review of both Deadpool 2 and Once Upon a Deadpool! As Adam mentions, 2018 is our most Marvel filled year on The March yet, and the pandemic doesn't seem to be preventing Disney from releasing movies anymore. Or people from seeing them for that matter! Onward! [That's a Pixar pandemic release, Charlie, not an MCU one. -Adam]
When Adam mentions movie grosses in the episode, he's referring to worldwide grosses (as opposed to domestic, which you can look up yourself here).
Tragically, no supercut of all the Fred Savage scenes from Once Upon a Deadpool is available on YouTube that we can find. But here at least is the part where he talks about Cable!
And here's that Stan Lee scene which doesn't appear on the disc release of Once Upon a Deadpool for whatever reason.
We Decide "First Plan, Best Plan" In Episode 202!
10/25/2021
Now I simply have to pat my head and rub my belly simultaneously and my plan will be complete!
Can you believe we're finally here? Our Merry Marvel Movie March has made it to installment 61, 2018's Avengers: Infinity War!
To all those Hawkeye stans out there: you're not alone.
Adam pointed out after the episode recording that maybe the reason Dr. Strange doesn't use his portals to kill or transport Thanos is because that technique didn't result in a future where the Avengers won. But by logical extension, that argument can be used for anything Dr. Strange does up until the eventual "win" in Endgame. Cut to:
*DR. STRANGE steals donut*
TONY STARK: Hey, I was eating that!
STRANGE: But Tony, this is the only way we can win!
TONY: And I thought you got Snapped!
STRANGE: Uh no, I survived, this definitely isn't me abusing the Time Stone by travelling back in time to get free donuts.
We Spot a Bald Eagle in Episode 201!
10/11/2021
An American bald eagle
Well, episode 200 has come and gone, so surely we must be out of things to talk about. Wrong! Episode 201 was recorded effortlessly, and we only briefly resort to talking about Dr. Phil.
Menopause: The Musical is a real thing, even though it seemed like Tony was making it up at the time.
While it seems like no one could ever possibly forget that Facebook was down for a whole 6 hours, we leave this here for posterity.
Cameo continues to pay comedic dividends, to wit: The Boss Baby.
Last updated: January 27, 2025
