Everyone knows that Christmas Day begins on December 25 each year. But did you know that it doesn't end until Adam and Charlie release an episode recounting their gifts? Just be glad that it lasted less than a month this year!
We didn't Photoshop that blog photo: you can actually buy those Jimmy Fallon cards online. Limit 50 per credit card (more than that and the purchase will be flagged as suspicious by the credit card company).
Even if Bill Knapp's is gone as a restaurant, the Bill Knapp's name lives on as an outlet bakery in Saline, MI. Oh, and maybe the name lives on, like, through the actual family too. That's always a possibility.
Mickey Mouse tried to commit suicide back in the 30's, as we're pretty sure we've mentioned before. We're glad he didn't though! Just think of all the IP we would have been robbed of over the years!
It's fair to say that the next movie in our Merry Marvel Movie March is refreshingly different from the MCU fare that we've been watching recently – but that's not necessarily a good thing. We're of course talking about 2018's Venom in episode 207. It's the most difficult movie for us to rate so far!
How do you pronounce "symbiote"? Leave it to the cast of Venom to muddy the waters.
Though Charles Rocket's career would lead you to believe that there is no salvation after dropping an F-bomb on Saturday Night Live, Jenny Slate has had reasonable success since her slip-up. And there is a long, storied history of the word's use on the show, with varying punitive action taken. It may be a few centuries before we have enough data to say anything definitive. Of course, by then, SNL will be written by robots, for robots, and occasionally hosted by Alec Baldwin.
[Editor's note: As is tradition here at the Gobeski/Wallace Report, we've taken the holiday season off from podcasting. Instead, we bring you an episode from a different podcast -- and this time Charlie was a guest star on it! We'll let them take it from here...]
Hi fellow Butt Enthusiasts! They said it could never happen, but here we are with episode 8 of Butt Stuff and we still haven't been canceled. Lance says the "wake up police" are always trying to do this, but I guess our ratings are good enough for now!
Here is a link defining Christmas in case you are not familiar with the holiday. This is another thing Lance is always saying they are trying to cancel, but we hope that spreading the word about this magical day will raise awareness and understanding!
Also I don't think you can find our Butt Logs via the web from Gogle. Here is (genuinely) the first search result for "butt logs" which discusses butt quality, butt rot, and butt swell (which is considered a defect, though I've always been a fan).
And a special thanks to the LumberJaXXX establishment and eatery, although I cannot find that internet website either. But here is the song they play every night there though.
We don't make comments about seemingly unrelated Marvel characters during the podcast without proper reference material. To that end, read about Sentry.
The Quantum Realm works because... it just does. It may be based on the Microverse, which explains some things but not others. Man, if Charlie can "just go with it", why are you asking questions anyway??
If you're interested in seeing the completely digital end-credit sequence from Ant-Man and the Wasp again, you can do so here.
Though we know that talking about Overlord Zuck only increases his power, we can't resist discussing the metaverse in episode 204. So what is the metaverse? Don't think of it as a way to distract from how terrible Facebook is, think of it as whatever your heart desires! Which in our case is a virtual interactive space where avatars can listen to cassette tapes of our podcast episodes. (Most can be contained on one double-sided cassette!)
Oh yeah, this job posting was real. We like to imagine an "unplanned visit" by your boss as one where they wander blindly into your home by accident, and profusely apologize for the inconvenience.
We're making up lost ground by reviewing two movies (sorta...?) in this episode of our Merry Marvel Movie March with episode 203, a review of both Deadpool 2 and Once Upon a Deadpool! As Adam mentions, 2018 is our most Marvel filled year on The March yet, and the pandemic doesn't seem to be preventing Disney from releasing movies anymore. Or people from seeing them for that matter! Onward! [That's a Pixar pandemic release, Charlie, not an MCU one. -Adam]
When Adam mentions movie grosses in the episode, he's referring to worldwide grosses (as opposed to domestic, which you can look up yourself here).
Tragically, no supercut of all the Fred Savage scenes from Once Upon a Deadpool is available on YouTube that we can find. But here at least is the part where he talks about Cable!
And here's that Stan Lee scene which doesn't appear on the disc release of Once Upon a Deadpool for whatever reason.
To all those Hawkeye stans out there: you're not alone.
Adam pointed out after the episode recording that maybe the reason Dr. Strange doesn't use his portals to kill or transport Thanos is because that technique didn't result in a future where the Avengers won. But by logical extension, that argument can be used for anything Dr. Strange does up until the eventual "win" in Endgame. Cut to:
*DR. STRANGE steals donut*
TONY STARK: Hey, I was eating that!
STRANGE: But Tony, this is the only way we can win!
TONY: And I thought you got Snapped!
STRANGE: Uh no, I survived, this definitely isn't me abusing the Time Stone by travelling back in time to get free donuts.
Well, episode 200 has come and gone, so surely we must be out of things to talk about. Wrong! Episode 201 was recorded effortlessly, and we only briefly resort to talking about Dr. Phil.
Menopause: The Musical is a real thing, even though it seemed like Tony was making it up at the time.
While it seems like no one could ever possibly forget that Facebook was down for a whole 6 hours, we leave this here for posterity.
Cameo continues to pay comedic dividends, to wit: The Boss Baby.
Finally, our obsessions are validated in episode 200, now that we know we're not the only ones who seek deeper meaning via The Boss Baby. It's a real conference, in the way that anything is real once it's posted on the internet. We suppose the important question is how we found out about this at all... probably that Google alert for "boss baby discourse".
You can see our old Star Wars rankings here. You can adjust them in your head by switching the positions of 4 and 8 for Charlie, and putting 9 at the bottom of the list for everyone.
While a Gobeski/Wallace Report/Fortnite crossover event would be baffling, it would likely not be as cringe-inducing or mismatched in spirit as Fortnite's MLK "March Through Time" event.
So... that scene. Apparently we weren't the only ones talking about it!
"Million Dollar Quartet" is indeed a real musical that Adam is really in! Pure statistics ensures that you are more likely to enjoy it more than the movie Annette. In fact, it reportedly has NO PUPPET BABIES WHATSOEVER! Plus, Adam sings and plays guitar, so it's also got that going for it as well!
It's been a full 98 episodes [it's only been 81 episodes; apparently someone's forgotten Blade: Trinity... –Adam], but we're finally back together to record a podcast in person! Shenaniwilliamstowntownshipza was everything the title implies: hilarious, exhilarating, within the border of Williamstown Township... a perfect recipe for fun! But not a perfect recipe for potato chips, as usual.
Brianne talks a little bit about The Stuff. So does our buddy Nathan Rabin, if you want to dive deeper!
Paul wants to express officially that he is pro-vax, and Adam wants to clarify that his vaccine card is not forged. They both want to leave open the possibility that some day they can host Jeopardy!, in case someone decides to listen to every episode of this podcast.
Wait... this just in! Paul got a mini-fridge! Tony knew someone who was giving theirs away and... well that's pretty much the whole story. It remains to be seen how far Paul is willing to go to fully utilize it, though we do approve of Doug's idea to fit the mini-fridge inside a regular fridge (you know, for improved efficiency).
Finally, the Merry Marvel Movie March is up to 2018's Black Panther, a movie that Tony waited to watch specifically for this occasion! Although we are admittedly a bunch of white dudes watching this movie more than 3 years after it was first released, we hope that our commentary isn't completely irrelevant. But even if it is, that's never stopped us before!
Kevin mentioned a Luke Cage comic that seemed questionable. You can view those two panels here.
We had to cut it for time, but we did discuss the Oscar-nominated song "All the Stars" as part of our Merry Marvel Movie March Song-Off. We all agreed we enjoyed it, but it seems nothing will replace "Home of the Brave" at the top of the Marvel charts for Paul.
When rich corporations fight against rich celebrities, we side with... celebrities, we guess? Because they have less money? Because they're not necessarily evil by design? While the results of this suit may have larger (and relevant) implications for the movie industry, we'll reserve our tears for Colin Jost and Colin Jost only (that poor, poor, exceedingly lucky man).
While we discuss the merits of "may" vs "might" in the actual episode, we don't think it's a spoiler to reveal that we DID have a special guest on the podcast this time around. He's a billionaire, very into space travel, and is responsible for technology that will have an outsized impact on the Earth's future environment – but it's not the one you're thinking of. (Unless you were thinking of a certain oil magnate/friend of the podcast, in which case, congratulations, it IS the one you're thinking of!)
OK, Probability of Precipitation (PoP) is actually kinda difficult to pin down, in part because meteorologists just don't think it matters that much! We think it's a ploy by Big Umbrella to confuse the public into living life in fear of rain.
We're here to remind you, again, that David Lynch likes the weather.
Here's a fidget cube. It's unlikely that it will open up a portal to a torture dimension à la Hellraiser, but Charlie still wants nothing to do with it!
Who knew that destroying a whole world could be this much fun? Taika Waititi, that's who! We're of course referring to 2017's Thor: Ragnarok, which we reviewed for the 59th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March.
AMC may not be doing so well, even with much better box office numbers now that some folks are going back to the movies. And Disney/Marvel is paving the way! [Late-breaking edit: Well, maybe; this weekend's box office reports include some rather telling omissions regarding Black Widow, which may therefore point in the other direction. AMC has their fingers crossed!]
Tessa Thompson doesn't seem to think Disney had ulterior motives for cutting Valkyrie's lesbian love scene from the film. Since then her character has been officially confirmed as LGBTQ+ (although, as with all things regarding LGBTQ+ representation in Disney films, we'll believe it when we see it (and don't blink and miss it)).
It's hard to have a conversation with us and not mention Tim and/or Eric. Here's the background on the fallout of the Electric Sun Festival in case you missed it (and if you're still alive, you probably didn't attend).
Now that Black Widow is coming to theaters this Friday (and your home for extra charges, if you're not into the whole "reopening the economy maybe too soon" thing), we are once again doomed to forever chase the end of our Merry Marvel Movie March. But the fun is in the journey, so here's our newest episode where we review 2017's action/teen comedy spectacle Spider-Man: Homecoming!
Our deep dive (aka first Google hit) on flag fringe shows this Wikipedia entry. So I guess no court case has ever meant anything in this country! Makes perfect sense.
Yes, yes, yes, the MCU has a somewhat inconsistent timeline. But there's also this thing from Doctor Strange called the "Time Stone" which means we can do whatever, whenever, and it's all just fine. So lighten up! And speaking of timelines, the convergence of all of our favorite movies and shows has already happened and most of us didn't even know (except Adam, as usual).
While we refuse to acknowledge any Piscopo news more recent than the 1990s, we will continue to observe Piscopo Day as an arbitary signifier of ALL June birthdays. We may one day run out of non-racist SNL sketches to perform, but new streamers are being born every June, so those "Celebrity birthday" webpages will allow us to induct new members into the Piscopo Hall of Fame indefinitely! Congrats to this year's winner, Keith David!
Good things grow in Ontario, if you weren't aware. We rate this commercial as "Slightly Better than Charlie Sings a Song About It" in both pitch and repetitiveness, but it has a high catchiness quotient! [Charlie WISHES he were as good as this. –Editor Adam]
The past and the future catch up with us in episode 192, as we both tease upcoming episodes and discuss things that have happened recently, a situation we've dubbed "Past Explainers"! It's weird that there wasn't already a word for that, but I guess that's why we're pioneers! And we apologize for the lack of exciting chip segments this time around, but that just leaves us more room to ensure all those COD deliveries arrive on time!
For all our Gen Z listeners, Alastair Cooke was the presenter of a PBS show called "Masterpiece Theatre" who introduced British dramas to the audience. There, now you can say you learned something today. And for our older listeners, it turns out the Masterpiece Theatre theme is a rondeau from the first suite of symphonies by French composer Jean-Joseph Mouret. Have a listen and see if it brings back any memories.
The Wisconsin Film Festival has wrapped up for the year. The movies Charlie mentioned were: Luzzu (guy on a boat), The Inheritance (fictional story about a community center, but centered on the real-life MOVE organization), The Passing On (the word Charlie was looking for was "mortician", not "embalmer") and Strawberry Mansion (a weird 70's sci-fi pastiche with dream-like narrative structure; it was weird).
Are there things you'd like us to do in episode 200? Send us a tweet and let us know! Or stop us in the grocery store if you see us, that works too.
And yes, Bond Voyage is coming soon! Here's what we have to look forward to!
We've had a good run, but now that theaters are opening back up it looks like we'll soon be losing ground in our Merry Marvel Movie March. Oh well, we're still bringing you our review of 2017's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 anyway. We guess we'll never have to worry about that "Coyote who finally caught the Roadrunner" problem!
Adam's computer is unruly this time of year (actually true!) so his sound quality is a bit tinnier than usual. We were aware, but there wasn't much we could do at the time. Please forgive us!
And also apologies are in order for the background noise of Charlie listening to Guardians Inferno at various speeds during the "Marvel Movie March Song-Off". Discover for yourself the best playback speed for listening and for... other things.
We secretly hoped that one day our "Nick Bronson: Dinosaur Hunter" franchise would take off and have the main character voiced by Nick Offerman. Apparently, it's better that the material be imagined by an actual 5-year-old boy rather than two adults with the sensibilities of 5-year-old boys. We're talking, of course, about Axe Cop.
Come to think of it, we create more than one cool business idea in episode 190! We're pretty sure that by releasing the recording, we hold all rights to said concepts forever and ever. And ever! So no one had better come up with a new streaming platform or baby vaudeville act or they'll be hearing from our lawyers!
While this photo makes Adam's realtor look intimidating, we assure you she is very approachable and excellent at her job, so if you need a realtor in the Chandler, Arizona area, you should contact her!
Perhaps the biggest tipoff that the hardcore music concert in NYC was not a 9-11 memorial event was the fact that it was in April. Something to think about when attempting to commit fraud next year!
And The Sparks Brothers are coming to a theater near you, assuming you're vaccinated, or care that you're vaccinated, or that theaters near you are open, or that you have a theater that considers the movie profitable... anyway it'll be out there somewhere.
We say goodbye to beloved characters (or at least the particular actor portrayals) in episode 56 of our Merry Marvel Movie March with our review of the 2017 film Logan. Tony tried to get more creative than we'd like with his rating, but we'll forgive him since he had a Week.
Doug mentions the first Logan trailer in the episode, so if you wanna watch it again, here you go.
James Mangold will be directing the fifth Indiana Jones film, which, if it's like James Mangold's other movies that we've seen, will be about Indy wishing for his own death, possibly by snake bite.
After perhaps the most bizarre year of all our lives to date, we decide to catch up with old friends Alex and John in episode 188. It's been over 100 episodes since John was last on the podcast, but some things never change (as evidenced by the blog photo).
Charlie couldn't decide whether comparing John to Bean Dad was too mean or not... but when in doubt, leave it in the podcast and have the public decide!
Turns out Shrimp Tail Guy, in addition to being Topanga's Husband, is also a Milkshake Duck. We're sure he's got a real name too, but who can be bothered in this day and age?
Alex brought the old memes to the show this week (explicit lyrics warning); we're sure Paul would approve.
We invite ol' Big Brother technology into our home, and all he can muster the energy for is targeted advertisements in our "smart" televisions? We were promised the Panopticon! Oh well, here's how to disable that junk.
And finally, as much as we are loath to link to rival podcasts (we consider ALL podcasts to be in direct competition with us), here is a link to the Plague Inc interview Adam mentions in the episode.
Adam is still threatening to do a Merry Marvel Movie March Appendix, which would potentially include Doctor Mordrid. So familiarize yourself with it now!
Since recording, Another Round has been nominated for Academy Awards in the "Directing" and "International Feature Film" categories. Charlie recommends it, and Doug probably will soon too!
We didn't really discuss how Rachel McAdams's character isn't even a Doctor Strange character: Christine Palmer's from a short-lived 70s book called "Night Nurse" (meant to appeal to female readers), and then she doesn't make another appearance until 2004's "Nightcrawler" book (and basically nothing since then). It's not really clear why she was picked for the movie at all, unless they just went with a Marvel character who was a nurse. But we love Rachel McAdams, so who cares!
We've hit the middle (nadir?) of Merry Marvel Movie March Madness with our review of the 2016 film X-Men: Apocalypse. But it's maybe not the low point of the X-Men franchise, so we all have that to look forward to in the future. We wouldn't want the post-pandemic world to look too rosy, now would we?
Generally we wouldn't advocate for adding more scenes of teenagers at the mall, but here we might make an exception. See, it's not bad, right?
You missed your chance to be a graduate of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Of course, why you'd want to go to a school that gets attacked or destoyed every few months is beyond us...
But 50 cents off White Castle? Sign us up!
And just a reminder that Steve Ditko was doing psychedelia before it was cool.
It just so happens that the episode release schedule allows us to get in three episodes for Merry Marvel Movie March Madness this year! What better way to kick that off than by reviewing the 2016 team-up extravaganza Captain America: Civil War? Some sort of elaborate team sports tournament involving schools from all over the nation? This ain't that type of podcast, dummy!
Another major milestone in the March: we're finally free of Ike Perlmutter!
Here's the link to Team Thor to watch at your leisure. It's directed by Taika Waititi, so we assume you now feel compelled to view it!
Oh yeah, and thanks, Paul for giving us the opportunity to bring this up again!
This week, Charlie couldn't be bothered to show up, but luckily we were apparently able to get Tim Daly and Steven Weber of "Wings" fame to talk with us in episode 184 at the last minute! Like the rest of us, their lives are currently filled with a plethora of tragedies and opportunities. Unlike the rest of us, that includes unusually high water bills and 500 foot tall sentient sponges.
Hopefully we'll see a "Frasier" reboot greenlit soon, but if not, it's nice to know there are plenty of opportunites for Kelsey Grammer to play a sky pirate if he so chooses (including on the "iCarly" reboot, we assume).
It turns out "The Daly Show" is a thing, so we're not sure how "The Daly Weekly Monthly" fits into the puzzle. I guess we'll have to ask Tim the next time he's on the show.
Also, be a little less douche.
Merry Marvel Movie March installment number 52 covers the 2016 movie Deadpool, and it couldn't have come at a better time. And by that, we mean a week late! Sorry for the delay, sometimes quality takes time! But we'll be back right on schedule with another episode next week, with two very special guests and one notable absence...
Here's the leaked test footage of Deadpool, which just goes to show that you can run afoul of NDAs as long as the suits are happy with the results!
And because we mention Tony's "woo" again, here you go. If we post it enough, maybe it'll eventually be the first Google hit for "startled Miles Teller".
There's a brief conversation that was cut from the podcast about Negasonic Teenage Warhead's powers. Here's a CinemaBlend article that goes over that in detail.
Also, marvel at the success of this film despite the slashed budget!
It may be worth brushing up on your Cable history before we get to Deadpool 2.
And we'd have to deep-dive a bit more to find out why Deadpool and Wolverine might be feuding in the comic universe, but here's a little background on how their respective actors brought that feud into real life.
Last updated: January 17, 2022