We Make Everything Dumb in Episode 92!

8/14/2017

Salisbury steak...? Oh well, probably better than

Salisbury steak...? Oh well, probably better than "Boss Baby" anyway!

I want to start out by saying that episode 92 was recorded before the untimely death of Chester Bennington. So, I wouldn't say our "Sing A Song About It" segment is an homage, so much as... an unfortunate coincidence. Try to enjoy it as least as much as Charlie enjoyed singing it anyway!

Here's a little background on Nathan Fielder, which provided the inspiration for our own Redbox-inspired product. We HIGHLY recommend his show, which actually is absurdist and doesn't usually insult the participants as much as you would think. But is it as absurdist as Tim and Eric? I don't think so.

We encourage you to come up with your own "y-infused" names such as Yynnyfyr. Adam pointed out that they all invariably sound like Viking names. And that's totally cool! Just submit them via Twitter @gwreport and we'll read them on air. Or maybe try @gwrypyrt, see if that works.

We Discuss a Classic of Almost-Cinema in Episode 91!

7/31/2017

I can't believe this movie was low budget!

I can't believe this movie was low budget!

The March continues in episode 91, as we tackle the legendarily unreleased Fantastic Four movie. Is it really as bad as its reputation suggests? You'll have to listen to the episode to find out but, spoiler alert, no, not really. It is very low budget though, so you can sort of see Marvel's point of view.

Last July we noted how infrequently we release episodes in July. And yet this year we've given you THREE episodes this month -- a feat we've only accomplished once before, back in October 2007! And I'm not sure those even count! Apparently this "every two weeks" schedule is really working out!

Here's that link to the GIF-free Buzzfeed page we talk about. Journalism at its finest!

And Adam would like you to know that his Doctor Who blog is back for the next three weeks! You owe it to yourself to check it out!

Adam Regales Us with His Amazing Travel Tale in Episode 90!

7/17/2017

I didn't make it this episode, maybe next time!

I didn't make it this episode, maybe next time!

Sorry if our episode backlog shows in episode 90 (an "upcoming" Piscopo Day is mentioned). Still, you should be happy that there are plenty more episodes coming up uninterrupted! This week, Adam tells us about some mishaps he had coming back from a trip to a conference out east. He may not have a medical degree, but sometimes a well-placed puff of fresh air can make the difference between success and disaster! Also, the paramedics helped out that lady a bit as well.

For the time being, you can't get two of the same flavor scoops of ice cream at Ben and Jerry's in Australia. Similar scoops now available in Germany though, presumably!

Adam was right; Despicable Me beat out Baby Driver at the box office. Are we really surprised though? Who wants to see wonderfully choreographed car chases when you can watch amorphous yellow blobs spout nonsense to each other?

Adam's actual opinion of Baby Driver (which I for the most part share): Decent but not great. Probably therefore Edgar Wright's weakest film, in my opinion. (Acknowledging I've never seen his first film, so maybe that's worse.) But overall, I still recommend seeing it (in the theater)! Adam recommends Spider-Man: Homecoming instead.

And more breaking news! Peter Capaldi is stepping down as the twelfth Doctor on Doctor Who, and his replacement was just announced yesterday! Click here to find out who, although I'd be a bit impressed if you'd managed to miss it. Even the New York Times covered it, and Doctor Who news is usually beneath them.

We Get Patriotic in Episode 89!

7/3/2017

Aww, are you trying to choke me? That's cute!

Aww, are you trying to choke me? That's cute!

What better way to celebrate the birth of our nation than with a review of the 1990 movie Captain America? Maybe the 2011 Captain America movie? Well, that's for much later, so this one will have to do!

Here's that Mitchell and Webb sketch about the Nazis, which teaches us that introspection is always worthwhile, no matter the situation.

And finally, the Tom Cruise and Nic Cage supercuts we reference, for your viewing pleasure.

Talkin' About Our Favorite Joe in Episode 88!

6/19/2017

Gettin' ready for a birthday celebration!

Gettin' ready for a birthday celebration!

Once again it's time to celebrate Joe Piscopo Day in episode 88! We discuss some of our birthday haul, as well a brand-new segment called "Chippin' with Charlie"! And does the man himself stop by to discuss ponies and cruise ships? You'll have to listen to find out!

And while Mr. Piscopo himself may have ultimately decided not to run for governor of New Jersey, that doesn't mean we can't still celebrate his career with-- wait, is this really the best sketch we could find? I guess you'll have to do some of the work on your own this year...

Concerned about the fact that "Happy Birthday" being in the public domain means we won't get to hear those off-brand restaurant versions any more? You're not the only one!

And if you have $200 just burning a hole in your pocket, you might want to consider spending it on some sweet Star Trek model ships.

Oh, and this just in: Star Trek: Discovery has a premiere date!!

We Kill All The Ninjas in Episode 87!

6/5/2017

Mercifully, onty the top two-thirds

Mercifully, only the top two-thirds

Once again, we are back at it in episode 87 with our Merry Marvel Movie March (here's the list!), reviewing the 1989 film The Punisher starring the one and only Dolph Lundgren! It's actually the second time Adam and I have seen it, and it was BETTER this time around. Imagine that!

Adam makes reference to a superhero group that was sarcastically proposed by Dwayne McDuffie; here's an article about that if you want to know more. Also another about the time the Punisher became temporarily black. Yeah, that really happened...

Wait, which Korea are we supposed to like as US citizens? I dunno, I guess we'd better go with Best Korea per Doug's suggestion! I can't be bothered to check, but sounds right to me!

We DON'T Hate On the Prequels in Episode 86!

5/22/2017

We've got some stories for you in this episode!

We've got some stories for you in this episode!

Everybody bust out the Prequel Memes, it's time for the 40th anniversary of the premiere of Star Wars on May 25th, and we're celebrating by revealing our own Star Wars history in episode 86. It's hard to believe it's already been 40 years! Oh wait, no it's not, since it has existed longer than I have. Oh well, I always relish the opportunity to acknowledge arbitrary passages of time!

Yes, yes, we bag a bit on "The Big Bang Theory" in this episode. So now we'll be hated by people who love the show, and hipsters who think hating the show is "so 2008". Anyway, here's what the show is like in my head whenever I watch it.

If you've been listening to our podcast at all recently, you should know why this YouTube video pretty much encapsulates everything we stand for.

If you liked Paul's little rendition of Meco's Star Wars Theme, here's the original. I like Paul's beat-box version better though.

Now there is a trailer for Star Trek Discovery for you to enjoy as well. So many links this week!!

And last but not least, the Rebel Assault II: Mystery Science Theater 1138 videos Adam was mentioning.

We Get All the Great Bits in Episode 85!

5/8/2017

They didn't actually eat there.

They didn't actually eat there.

I regret to say I have never attended a Shenaniganza. Listening to it being described in episode 85 is an experience unto itself. There's a whole world of memes, bits and, well, shenanigans that you and I will never know firsthand. But some mysteries are better left hidden I suppose.

We've got some more Merry Marvel Movie March episodes coming up. Why not refamiliarize yourself with what we've done so far? Check out the Podcasts page if you really feel that hearing about Howard the Duck and the 1944 Captain America serial will help prepare you for The Punisher (1989).

Ooh, were you confused about the Dennis Quaid mouth open reference? Do you want to see it? You are a very strange person.

And though we can't possibly link to every meme mentioned, here's one you should be familiar with.

We Kick Off the Antics in Episode 84!

4/24/2017

 At least some of the Rock N' Rye survived!

At least some of the Rock N' Rye survived!

Apparently there's no better time to go on vacation than mid-March, it seems, as episode 84 makes clear. And Tony and Paul had only just arrived in Phoenix for their third annual Shenaniganza and were already full of upsetting-yet-hilarious stories! Enjoy a hilarious late-night episode fueled by caffeine, adrenline, and pure distilled rage!

(And don't worry, next episode will be a detailed breakdown of everything that happened during Shenanibananaganza itself.)

And if you can't get enough of the hits of John "Smash" Mouth, here's a mash-up to tide you over.

And don't despair! Our Merry Marvel Movie March will continue soon! Did I bring this up just to use this GIF again? Yes, but also to let you know that Adam has made up a list of all the movies we have to look forward to! Apparently they do eventually get better...

We Talk Board Game Theory in Episode 83!

4/10/2017

Seriously considering quitting my job to make board games... or just play them... or look at them...

Seriously considering quitting my job to make board games... or just play them... or look at them...

It's amazing that we've made it through 83 episodes without devoting an entire episode to board games, but here it is! I'm glad to know that Cards Against Humanity is the great common denominator for all board game geeks. Or maybe it's Catan? Eh, either way.

Do you think you have the qualifications to be the next CEO for Cards Against Humanity? How do you stack up?

Our guest for Episode 83 is Jessica Klaers, the co-host of our new podcast Cinematic Respect. Each episode centers on a guest who is a cultural moron and hasn't seen a great film. Much like Quantum Leap's Sam Beckett, we keep "trying to right what once went wrong" and forcing them to enjoy that movie. If you like movies, or you like Charlie, or you're willing to listen to a podcast despite not liking both those things, you'll love it!

BREAKING NEWS! Because you NEED to know about this!

Here's a little context for Adam's "David Frye" reference.

And that Battleblock Theater reference you may not have understood.

We Exhaustively Count Plants in Episode 82!

3/27/2017

Endless counting fun

Endless counting fun

With the combined brain power of our guests, you'd think that we would have at least attempted a trip to an "escape room" at some point. Not so! But Brianne and Adam had a chance and told us about it in Episode 82. As we discussed, we thought of some clever, artsy escape rooms that would teach you an important lesson about life. Here's a few more I've thought of since.

  • You are stuck in the room until you have a 45 minute forced conversation with a very lonely and bored Regis Philbin!
  • Each participant is locked in a different management office and can't escape until it is "spotless, and please do the windows as well."
  • When you complete the escape room, all staff has vanished, as well as any belongings you've left outside the room!

Oh, and some very unfortunate news about Hiddleswift. Is there no romance in the world anymore? And this happened in September, why did none of you tell me??

A Conspiracy Hits Close to Home in Episode 81!

3/13/2017

Can you believe we are already 18 years AST? Time flies!

Can you believe we are already 18 years AST? Time flies!

Usually we do our "Conspiracy Corner" segment in an aloof way, but this time it has personal meaning in Episode 81. I briefly considered that maybe I had a secret admirer, sending me obscure DVD flops, but that theory quickly paved the way for more... SINISTER possibilities. Also in this episode, we talk about the movie "Pixels" more than you would expect.

So you think Obama is a nerd? Well, not the type of nerd who is familiar with "Dune"! John Hodgman put him to the test way back in 2009 and he disappointed the whole nation. It's Shai-Hulud, Mr. President. SMH so hard.

Oh, in case you want Gobeski-level productivity, here is a link to the Star Trek Voyager bridge background which you can use to annoy your coworkers! And that "La La Land" article in which they prove that Emma Stone's character DESERVED to be a failure.

We Break the Ice in Episode 80!

2/27/2017

Shot number 37 of 50

Shot number 37 of 50

Episode 80 takes place in Arizona, but don't worry - we talk at length about off-track betting. And fun times were had by all! We played the highest scoring game of mini-golf ever, played several awesome board games and I only got really sick after I left! (There may be a couple sniffles left in the recording, this is my method of apologizing for that.)

We've reached the milestone of 80 episodes, which means we've released more episodes than the original Star Trek TV series. Yet amazingly, I think this may be the very first time we discuss "American Gladiators" on the podcast. Here's a list of gladiators in case you've forgotten. Luckily, Liquid Cold Magma isn't taken yet!

And here's a link to a clip from The Drew Carey Show. It's what Alex thinks of my "Sing a Song About It" attempts in general. He's got a point.

SMH About Every Part of Episode 79!

2/13/2017

Wait, are the Nazi breeder ducks looking for a magical stork? This pun doesn't withstand deep scrutiny!

Wait, are the Nazi breeder ducks looking for a magical stork? This pun doesn't withstand deep scrutiny!

There just isn't a whole lot to say about the movie Howard the Duck that we don't say in episode 79. After all, the back of the DVD says it is "one of the most talked-about movies of all time". And the only reason to watch it is to understand why everyone groaned at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy. But now you don't have to. YOU'RE WELCOME.

(Adam wants you to know that he thinks 1986-era Lea Thompson is a reason to watch it. So if that works for you and for some reason you don't just want to watch the best parts on YouTube, then I guess you have that!)

I'm actually writing this blog post at ADAM'S VERY OWN KITCHEN TABLE! That means you can expect that the next episode actually contains us both in the same room in Arizona! And if you are a fan of off-track betting, you may even hear that episode broadcast over the speakers as you lose your kids' college fund to your gambling addiction. Don't understand what I mean? I forgot you haven't heard that episode yet. Stay tuned!

Another highlight of the trip was our journey to the mini-golf course, where Adam doubled his score on the last hole. He finished at 102. That's the problem with "playing it where it lies" and "not giving up at 6 strokes like a weenie". It may have been the most entertaining 15 minutes of my life. Check out our Facebook page to see the shenanigans yourself!

Also, we rated some new NES games. Well, the games themselves aren't new, but the ratings and comments are! If you weren't aware we've been doing this for almost 20 years and although we've slowed down, we haven't stopped. Alex has a lot of unrated games to look forward to!

We Vicariously Enjoy Each Other's Gifts in Episode 78!

1/30/2017

A Chrimbus Sandstorm!

A Chrimbus Sandstorm!

Look out, it's a Christmas episode in January! And instead of delaying release due to my laziness, we actually had TOO MUCH CONTENT recorded that had to be released before this one. So don't think of it as a month late; it's really 11 months early!

So I found an article that addresses the "bwam" sound we discuss in the episode. Except they call them "Braaams". We're right, they're wrong. However, they did SOME research which I don't feel like doing myself, so you can read their thing if you want. Also, this one.

Dr. McNinja has finally ended its run. Just in time for me to start reading it! If you like ninjas, dinosaurs, large apes, pirates and robots, I'd give it a chance. If you don't like those things... did you have a childhood? Or did you just skip straight from being a baby to being an adult?

We Switch from Dials to Levers in Episode 77!

1/16/2017

The most deadly weapon of all!

The most deadly weapon of all!

Finally, you can hear the exciting conclusion to our review of the Captain America serial from 1944. And boy, Grant Gardner goes on a rampage. I imagine right after the last episode fades out, the police chief says, "So, about those dozens of people you murdered..." But overall, it was pretty entertaining and we all suggest you watch some of it!

So the statistics have been tallied and it appears that we put out more than one episode per month last year. Dare we try for TWO episodes a month in 2017? Well, we're on track so far! And it certainly wouldn't be the strangest thing to happen this year. That's almost a guarantee.

Too Many Cameos in Episode 76!

12/31/2016

Wait, timeout! I lost a contact lens!

Wait, timeout! I lost a contact lens!

Wow, it's truly amazing that so many guest stars stopped by in episode 76! But when you have access to wikipedia, I suppose anything is possible. Stay tuned to the end for our very special message to the year 2016!

Speaking of the New Year, today is your LAST day to make donations to the GW Report this calendar year! You may be asking:

  • "Why would I donate to you?"
  • "The donation is not tax deductible, so who cares WHEN I donate?"
  • "The state of our decaying society dictates that I donate to a cause that has real-world consequence!"

I respect that you are a naturally inquisitive person, but you really just need to open up your wallet and donate, preferably in person and with cash. Also, that last one was not a question.

Our Quest For Flavor Ends in Episode 75!

12/23/2016

What's picanha? You don't want to know...

What's picanha? You don't want to know...

We've finally made it the traditional podcasting milestone of 75 episodes! Can't think of a more important number than that! No sir! Here's our second clips show for you celebrate with. It was actually a lot of fun to record and produce. Download it and listen with your family/coworkers/general acquaintances/people at restaurants who know who you are because you order from them so often/friends/"friends" around the Christmas tree this year, especially if the politics of the recent election leaves you feeling like you can't find common ground.

I've got a link to Simon Pegg's half-apology for the Star Trek trailer we mention, just in case you don't remember Trailergate.

And here is the source material for our audiobook productions. I can't decide whether you should watch them before or after listening to episode 75. So you choose! (Definitely watch them after! --Editor Adam)

We Straight Up Murder Thugs in Episode 74!

11/26/2016

"Hey, Gary! I said move things OUT of the way, idiot!"

After threatening several times, we finally begin the Merry Marvel Movie March in episode 74. I suspect this will probably take a while, especially since approximately 1,100 Marvel properties have been spun into movies since I started writing this sentence. But we conduct this public service with a smile because, hey, we're watching fun movies (mostly).

You should go watch an episode of the Captain America serial on YouTube now, and at least give it a chance. Why have a stupid magical shield when you can just waste fools with your handgun??

If you don't follow Paul F. Tompkins on Twitter, your life is hollow. Here's a link to the tweet we reference, to brighten your day. Now you know what insult to hurl at internet trolls when you foolishly engage them.

We Consider a Third Party in Episode 73!

11/7/2016

A candidate you can believe in

A candidate you can believe in

It's the day before the 2016 election, and what better time to introduce a new presidential candidate to you? Episode 73 gives us a look at the policies and personality of Daniel Baker, the leader of the Workers Against Needless Guidelines party! I feel better about the country already!

I was going to supply you with the Internet's finest efforts for phat beats from DJ Trump (DJ DJ Trump?) but it frankly got depressing really fast. So here, this might help instead.

And Adam says you should go see Doctor Strange tonight! Depending on how things go tomorrow, you might not get another chance!

We Off-Road a Bit in Episode 72!

10/27/2016

Sixth-grade Mustache

Sixth-grade Mustache

We seem to be landing bigger and bigger guest stars these days, and we've got our biggest so far in episode 72. Frankie's voice has gotten a lot deeper since I last heard him, but I guess he's all grown up now!

The guy's name is definitely Evan McMullin. Turns out the race in Utah may be more exciting than the country as a whole...

Our very own Alex Clark has a Twitch account, which you can access here. Parental advisory: he uses some swears.

Here's a list of all the 3rd Rock from the Sun episode titles. It's even worse than I imagined.

Episode 71 is Too High Brow!

9/28/16

The Grungiest Nation on Earth

The Grungiest Nation on Earth

We apologize for the short notice on Cruz News, but it only happened an instant before we recorded episode 71. You'll have to wait for episode 72 for the full deets!

Or not! Probably not!

Here's the Stephen Colbert clip that we play in the podcast. He'll be hearing from our lawyer! Of course, I'm sure we'll be hearing from his lawyers for playing that clip without permission. So hopefully this whole legal battle will even out in the end. We're ultimately just hoping for some publicity. Please follow us on Twitter, Stephen!

Like a little politics with your Star Trek? Well here's the anti-Brexit, anti-Donald subtext we talked about in the episode.

And of course, here's a link to our newly founded nation. Will it meet the same fate as Old Bakergobeskiland? With an economy that is best described as "Basket Case", I think we'll know very soon!

New Hosts in Episode 70!

9/18/16

I have NO idea...

I have NO idea...

We mix things up a bit in episode 70, but we think you'll like the results. We just hope the popularity of the guest hosts this week doesn't eclipse our own! After all, they don't even have to change the title of the podcast to steal it. Though now that I've put the idea out there, I am kind of nervous about it. At least Brianne may have been turned off of the idea by having to sing a song. Not so easy, is it?!

Here's an explanation of the difference between coupe and a sedan. Again, not so easy as some would have you believe.

We Eulogize a Console in Episode 69!

8/25/16

I guess nothin' can last forever...

I guess nothin' can last forever...

Right off, I have to apologize for the extended "Sing a Song About It" segment. Unless that's your thing, in which case episode 69 will be quite a treat! And of course we talk about the end of the Xbox 360 era. Now we're forced to enter the next console generation, where these infernal things can hear your voice and track your movements. Better to be monitored by Big Brother than to wallow in the past though!

Adam mentions a Penny Arcade comic that can be seen here if you so choose (which you should!)

Also, I should mention that The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek now has 50 entries! If you haven't already checked it out, you are probably a horrible human being. Just spend a couple minutes reading it to regain your cool kid status. Not too hard, really.

And an official count has Alex Clark with 21 appearances and Doug at 28! That means Doug gets the ultimate prize: he is banned from the podcast until Alex catches up!

Back to Basics Again in Episode 68!

7/18/16

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

Considering we've been podcasting since before it was cool, it's amazing how infrequently we've posted an episode in the month of July. Until now!

Adam and I both feel like mentioning that the new Ghostbusters film was pretty good. If you don't, you are sexist. That's how this works, right...? As usual, all of my complaints were criticisms that could have been as easily leveled at the original film (see, I'm learning!).

If you couldn't quite pick out the saxophone solo Adam was singing, here it is. Oh yeah, THAT song...

And of course, the patriotic meme that's been sweeping the nation:

It's Joe Piscopo Day in Episode 67!

6/17/16

Yep, I guess context DOES matter

Yep, I guess context DOES matter

I can hardly believe it's been a whole year since we conceived of Joe Piscopo Day. Episode 67 is a celebration of epic proportions! And I do believe we stay on the safe side of copyright infringement, though some folks in this episode disagree.

As we also mention, you are required to do something Joe Piscopo-related today in addition to listening to the podcast. Here are a few JP clips to help you fulfill your JPD obligations:

Last updated: August 14, 2017

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