Tag-Team Hit-On

by Adam Gobeski

Ok, story time.

So there we were in the Grand River Qdoba during Welcome Week, enjoying a nice tasty burrito. There had been some other people there, but we hadn't paid close attention until we sat down and looked around while we ate. It was there that they caught my eye.

Sitting in one of the booths were four people, all of whom clearly were freshmen - no one else in the world looks quite that awkward. Three guys and one girl. Not, in itself, a remarkable sight. But what was odd about it was their seating arrangement. Namely, the girl sat on one side of the table while the three guys were all on the other side.

Of course, the booths in Qdoba aren't really designed for three people to sit on one side. One of the boys, acknowledging this drawback, had actually pulled up a chair so as to make sure that the three were still on the same side.

I'm not really sure what the guys found so interesting in this girl. She wasn't bad-looking, but she wasn't really a winner. She'd have probably looked better if she hadn't gone in for that current "I could only afford to dye half of my dark hair blonde" look. But they were all clearly keen to get to know her better.

I started to feel bad for them. I wanted to go up to them and say to the guy sticking out on a chair, "Dude, it's ok. You can sit next to her, it's no big deal. She probably won't be that put off by you. Certainly not anymore that she is being across from you."

While I was toying with this idea, though, something very odd happened. A fourth guy, who had been doing something else somewhere, came up to the group. He gave the middle guy a high five, whereupon the middle guy stood up and moved away, while the new guy sat down and took his place.

What the hell? Did I just witness a tag team hit on?

I couldn't figure out what had just happened. As far as I could tell, that was exactly what had happened. Is this something new in teenage romance? Is this a step up from the wingman? Do your friends chat up a girl and get her comfortable so that you can swing in at the right moment and get her phone number? Does this work for any romantic situation? One wonders how such a thing would have worked in the old days:

ILSA (played by INGRID BERGMAN): You're saying this only to make me go.

RICK (played by HUMPHREY BOGART): I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

ILSA: But what about us?

RICK: We'll always have Paris.

(RICK raises his hand and gives a high-five to JACK, played by actor CARY GRANT. RICK walks off while JACK takes his place.)

JACK: Better get on that plane, darling; wouldn't want to miss it. Here's looking at you, kid. (JACK smiles suavely, with a little wink to ILSA.)

...maybe not.

I suppose it's possible that there was some sort of rational explanation for what I saw, but I rather doubt it. I'm pretty sure it was a tag team. So next time you're out and around college freshmen, take a look and see if you can spot the high five. I guarantee you won't regret it.