A temporary delay
11/11/2024
Craiyon.com's best effort at what Charlie might look like
No, we haven't quit; Charlie's just dealing with the one of the worst illnesses he's experienced in quite a while, so he's been laid up in bed for a couple weeks now. But don't worry, we'll be back as soon as he's well enough for us to tape a mouse to his hand and make him edit!
We Don't Need Eyes to See in Episode 280!
10/21/2024
Look, I agree green is a weird color to be going through those conduits, but at least it's not RED, and I'm confident it never will be red. I vote we stay.
We have a terrifying entry into the Sci-Fi Shuffle rotation just in time for Halloween - it's 1997's Event Horizon! We don't think it's caused any nightmares among us yet, but then again we haven't woken from hypersleep yet.
The trailer for Event Horizon does really feel more it's teasing a movie like Alien rather than a horror movie. [Charlie, are you trying to argue that Alien is somehow not a horror movie? -Adam]
This episode inspired Kara and Charlie to start a "Sam Neill Scares" mini-movie-marathon for October. So far it's been In the Mouth of Madness and Dead Calm. Both were worth watching, for completely different reasons!
But maybe don't watch In the Light of the Moon (Ed Gein). I mean, what a BORING subject! It certainly didn't show up on Variety's list of Best Horror Movies of All Time, the way Event Horizon did.
The Event Horizon TV show is "in the works", so anyone who was in the movie and isn't already busy is bound to show up!
And courtesy Adam, a song:
We built this spaceship!
We built this spaceship to Go! To! Hell!
Built this spaceship!
We built this spaceship to go to hell-elll!!!
We Annoy Our Neighbors in Episode 279!
10/7/2024
The signal is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!
We don't guarantee that episode 279 will cure your sense of existential dread, but it can't hurt!
Doug mentioned a Nature article about LLMs which you can read here.
We didn't really come up with the names of Jeopardy celebrities during the episode, but James Holzhauer was the guy jumping around looking for the Daily Doubles (not at SporcleCon), and Amy Schneider was the semi-recent big money/long streak winner (WAS at SporcleCon).
We're sure you can find links to reviews of UFO 50 if you desire, but here's their website!
Here's the unplayable game Adam was referring to. Relatedly, you can read a brief history of unbeatable games (although somehow they left out Impossible Mission for the Atari 7800). And then theres's always Aliens: Colonial Marines, although that at least has an easy (and incredibly embarrassing) fix.
We Definitely Wear Real Pants in Episode 278!
9/23/2024
A real Rorschach test of what anime you've watched
The leaves are falling from the trees and their poisonous spores are being released, so that means we're at the end of Sci-Fi September. For this episode, Doug chose the 1984 animated classic Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Of course his favorite part of this environmental/pacifist fable is the part where the God Weapon blows stuff up, but there's no accounting for taste!
Would YOU like to watch the bastardized 1985 version of Nausicaä? Fortunately the Internet Archive has you covered. And here's a list of all the cuts, along with the bad-ass poster (emphasis on "bad").
Doug talks about a prequel film, which appears to be a reference to this – which you can watch here.
Michael B. Jordan, the ultimate multi-hyphenate: actor/director/Bleach completionist.
We Brush Up On Our Superlatives in Episode 277!
9/9/2024
LEFT: Accomplished documentarian RIGHT: Dedicated martial artist
Adam (rightly) calls out Charlie in the 12th installment of our Sci-Fi Shuffle and declares that Charlie's REAL favorite movie is the supremely dumb 1989 movie Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Charlie simply must concede this fact.
A couple notable facts we didn't fully touch on in the episode: Dan Shor, who plays Billy the Kid, also played Ram in Tron! And for those of you who don't have a crush on Jane Wiedlin, here is an actual explanation of who she is.
As we mention in the episode, many of the scenes in the film were filmed in the Phoenix area. Unfortunately, however, the Circle K is no more.
A Mario Bros. anime? What the heck is Adam talking about? Glad you asked!
We Have Indistinct Hypnotic Powers in Episode 276!
8/28/2024
You like water, we like land. Let's split the difference and fight on the side of a boat!
We close out Phase 4 of the MCU and module 2 of our Merry Marvel Movie March with a review of the 2022 film Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. It's a wonder James Cameron didn't try to sue Marvel for the character design in this film. Is it because they don't have tails? Can we create a character that looks like Garfield but without a tail and rake in cash without consequence? Note to self: register domains garfieldwithouttail.com, .biz, etc. [Charlie, I don't think James Cameron has a lock on "blue people". And anyway, the Atlanteans of the comics were blue long before Cameron made Avatar, so if anything Marvel should have sued Fox. -Adam]
Why Disney is not your friend: exhibits A and B, for those students of history mentioned last time.
And a quick elaboration from Kevin regarding his very spicy take:
"All I'm trying to say (mostly incoherently in the podcast, mostly coherently here, hopefully) is that having this character that meant a lot to a lot of people die of some unnamed disease off-screen isn't a spectacular tribute to said character. If I were watching these movies with my kids, I would have to dig deep to explain why the sequel featured this happening to the first movie's titular character (from a narrative perspective). Maybe a better Christopher Reeve analogy (and deep down I don't even really think he - or RDJ, or anyone - is irreplicable) would be making a Superman V where Superman was in a horse riding accident and they have to find a different Superman to be Superman as the plot of the movie (I mean no disrespect to him in saying this, it's just the literal equivalent). Obviously I didn't know the guy, but there's no way Chadwick Boseman wanted T'Challa to die of cancer(?) as the conclusion of the character's story. Delaying the movie a couple years to give space for grief, plowing ahead with a new, young actor, then probably Princess Leia-ing Boseman-Panther into Secret Wars and making us all ugly cry would have been my preferred route. On the positive side, I can only say this: as capitalism did, indeed, require this movie to come out sooner rather than later and replacing him surely would have been hard on the cast and crew, the direction they went was the most... human."
So is Kevin still a monster? I guess that's up to you to decide!
We Eat Lots of Mexican Food in Episode 275!
8/12/2024
It can be both!
ShenaniStarTrekza will have to wait, since this one was officially dubbed Shenanimarinararizarara.... or something like that. Whatever! It's less about the name and more about sucking that sweet tangy sauce through a mozz straw.
For future historians using the Gobeski/Wallace Report as their primary source, this link may be help explain the Windows outage. This and this may also help.
Bad news for anyone visiting High Scores Arcade to see if they can beat Adam's high score at Frogger; they reset the scores every night! WHY BOTHER?!
There are of course multiple interpretations of Kamala is brat, especially if you only read NYT explainers or scroll TikTok with the sound off.
Paul's Co-workers are Wrong in Episode 274!
7/29/2024
Schrodinger's Long John
Our sincerest apologies that episode 274 is up late, but we were so worked up about the idea of an "unfilled Long John" that we JUST COULDN'T. Also, Charlie was very ill and Adam is participating in a Shenaniganza so we have those excuses too. But you'll hear all about that in next episode to be sure!
...that's all for now. Sorry, I guess Charlie is still ill and doesn't have the energy to write more. Please try to contain your disappointment.
We Have Some Surprise Guests in Episode 273!
7/15/2024
Slight episode spoilers in image
We assure you no squirrels were harmed during the production of episode 273. That happened WELL before we recorded this. But of course, that's to be expected when they come in close proximity to Charlie.
One of the downsides to the Age of Constant Surveillance is that it's difficult to hide excess inventory from investors.
Al Michaels was "skeptical" of the use of his voice for AI commentary, which is exactly the word we use before seeing a giant paycheck for doing absolutely no work. But it is safe to say that his acquiescence will suspend the weight of the Olympic broadcast, much like the 27,582 galvanized carbon steel wires in each cable holding up the Golden Gate Bridge.
Here's a Wikipedia article for Under Night In-Birth, in case you though Paul was speaking in tongues when he talked about it during the podcast. And another about the movie Invincible, lest you think Charlie ONLY speaks in non-sequiturs.
We Do a Little Soul Searching in Episode 272!
7/1/2024
You know, maybe if we want individuality we could mix up the wardrobe a little. Just an idea!
Our Sci-Fi Shuffle continues our "Dark" movie theme with the 1998 film Dark City. Roger Ebert liked it. Like REALLY liked it. And he's not wrong!
We once again recommend you check out Brandon at Random Reviews, especially if you're looking for more Dan Hess The Holiday-related hot takes!
R.I.P. Donald Sutherland. Although his son was in the movie we watched for this episode, he himself has not appeared in the Sci-Fi Shuffle yet. But we suspect it's only a matter of time.
*URGENT EMERGENCY ALERT*
We have a Sci-Fi Shuffle update! Adam went ahead and identified the issue of Dr. Strange in Dark Star. It's Dr. Strange #176, cover date Jan. 1969! Now you can inform all of you friends and family who were, until now, listless without that bit of trivia to tether them to reality.
*END OF URGENT EMERGENCY ALERT*
We Try Fufy Soup in Episode 271!
6/17/2024
Hard to open, but worth the effort!
This may be the last time you see us reference Joe Piscopo, and here only to say that we will not be celebrating his birthday anymore. He knows what he did! Since you can only go FORWARDS, we needed to create something even more spectacular to celebrate June birthdays. Behold: Campbellushi Day!
Bruce Campbell does a Stephen Colbert impression.
Jim Belushi hits Stephen Colbert in the ear.
Look, the AI art stuff is really funny to see and really hard to cut from the podcast when Kevin won't stop sending it to us. And at least it was on topic this time!
The future is now
We Joke About Beheadings in Episode 270!
6/3/2024
The beheading bit is definitely part of his tight five set
We're back from a mysterious absence with a new installment in our Merry Marvel Movie March with a review of the 2022 film Thor: Love and Thunder. What caused the time gap? Well, we will say that it's partly due to the cruel vengeance of nature, and partly (mostly) due to Charlie. But he sings some songs in this episode, so all is forgiven... right...?
LOTS of comic references in the show this week, and they are as follows: Knull,Eternity, One Above All and Heroes Reborn.
As we mention in the show, even Chris Hemsworth has regrets about the tone of the movie. And it's not clear whether Chris Hemsworth was actually skipping leg day for this role, but it turns out you can give people crap regardless!
If you too would like to be arm-deep in space spiders, may we suggest Deep Rock Galactic?
We Let You Know What We Think in Episode 268!
5/6/2024
Technically edible when congealed and passes muster at TSA!
If you're like most of us and have pored over The Tortured Poets Department, listen to our impromptu review in episode 268. If you are a non-Swiftie like Kevin and Charlie, maybe re-evaluate your life choices!
The original Fallout games were full of dark humor, but not all of it made the final cut.
We can't really find the Calico Cut Pants sketch from I Think You Should Leave in an easily accessible form. Maybe you should just go on Netflix and watch the whole series again to find it? That's what we did!
Can't get enough of Paul's Metamucil story? It's also in episode 65!
We Hang Out in Space in Episode 267!
4/22/2024
Come on, you can do it! Only 20 more minutes of this!
We've got more Sci-Fi Shuffle this week, and Doug has chosen the decidedly not-2010's film Dark Star. If you haven't watched the movie yet, make sure to prepare for the segment on our show called "Which Parts of This Movie Were Added to Artificially Pad Its Runtime?"
It's worth noting that even before Dark Star, John Carpenter was already involved with the Academy Award-winning short film The Resurrection of Broncho Billy, which you can watch here.
Even though no one seems to know the Doctor Strange comic that appears in Dark Star, IMDb did identify the DC romance book!
Here's the credit sequence from the movie, mainly so you can listen to "Benson, Arizona". If it were in the Merry Marvel Movie March it would definitely have a chance of placing high up in the Merry Marvel Movie March Song-Off!
Physicians Put Us on Blast in Episode 266!
4/8/2024
Let's just save ourselves both the embarrassment and skip the scale today
In episode 266 we ask, "What's the point of treating a medical condition without a healthy dose of judgment?" As a follow-up, suffice it to say that we haven't needed to avenge anyone's death...yet.
Depending on your nerd strengths, you can try Cinematrix or Tradle. Or use them to reduce your nerd weaknesses!
We End the Madness in Episode 265!
3/26/2024
We know this shield we're making will repel Charlie, but maybe not the Scarlet Witch
Merry Marvel Movie March Madness ends appropriately this year: with the 2022 mind-bending Sam Raimi film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness! But I guess we only really deal with two other universes? Since we don't spend nearly enough time in the Splatooniverse. But really, who would want to go to those alternate realities, especially when we could have one-eyed Sam Raimi monsters and zombies?
Not a lot of stuff to say this time around that we don't already mention in the episode, other than that the comic backstory of Wanda and Vision's kids is far weirder than the podcast might lead you to believe.
We Morb All Over Everyone in Episode 264!
3/11/2024
Press A to ride invisible wind currents
Though it seems a logical place to stop, we will be doing further episodes of our Merry Marvel Movie March after this week's episode on the universally critically-acclaimed film Morbius. It's all downhill from here, people!
Charlie didn't recognize a reference to a movie he has definitely seen and RECORDED A PODCAST EPISODE ABOUT.
Though Paul tries valiantly, there is really no substitute for "Know Your Meme" when explaining "It's Morbin' Time".
As Adam explains the back-history of Morbius in the podcast, he references The Seduction of the Innocent as well as an urban legend regarding Marv Wolfman.
Also, the historical letter reenactment that Adam mentioned!
We Harvest Space Lobsters from the Air in Episode 263!
2/26/2024
Leading your movie with dog murder: a bold choice!
Since we're about to launch into Merry Marvel Movie March Madness, we thought we'd first knock off another movie in our Sci-Fi Shuffle series - 1959's Teenagers From Outer Space! Thanks to Kevin Vredevoogd, who at least gave us the illusion of choice on this one. May he mercifully be vaporized into a skeleton before the Gargans devour him!
Here's the "14 beers at Chili's" meme, as required by law.
You can hear us talk about the movie Solaris on Cinematic Respect, and it shares one thing in common with Teenagers from Outer Space - gratuitous driving sequences! And also space, we guess.
Bronson Canyon is a very common place to film, especially in the sci-fi genre. We doubt it will be the last time we see it in our Shuffle!
We Manhandle Puppets in Episode 262!
2/11/2024
He will NOT be hosting trivia next week
Hey, it's all Tony Huff in episode 262, and he has HAD ENOUGH! Particularly, he will not tolerate you sticking your gyat out for the Rizzler. You've been warned!
Here you can see one of this generation's biggest misanthropes attacking a beloved children's character. Although, is it really misanthropy if you attack a puppet? Does that make it mismarionety? There goes Larry David again, making us ask the important questions!
And yet Patrick Stewart throws a beloved children's character and no outrage? What has the world come to?
Kevin Vredevoogd: sneaking right past the mods in every corner of the internet.
Also, as far as we know, the Vredevoogd clan has never participated in cannibalism.
OK, so it's NOT an animated movie about anthropomorphic Pop-Tarts. Our enthusiasm level stays at "neutral".
And this is unrelated, but Adam wanted to post it anyway. He's a co-host, so he won't be denied!
We Eventually Deliver Some Mashrooms in Episode 261!
1/29/2024
Another day, another Tree of Life incinerated
Paul spins the Sci-Fi Shuffle wheel and lands on the 2021 stop-motion film Junk Head, so we all start by wondering just what exactly we watched for episode 261. To be fair, we actually all seemed to like it, even those of us who typically are creeped out by this sort of thing! Maybe we'll all talk about Junk World after it comes out in 2025.
In another parallel universe, Paul might have made us watch Voices of a Distant Star – and who knows, he still might!
We Set Our Sights Low in Episode 260!
1/15/2024
Can you spot the difference?
Despite the Gods of Heating and Home Maintenance conspiring against us, we managed to record episode 260, in which we take part in the Recounting of the Gifts. The hauls were good, as usual, even though none of us got the smutty e-books we were promised. Oh well, there's always next year!
The We Have Food At Home meme, so folks like Charlie can understand.
Paul was not talking about the Jim Jarmusch film Stranger Than Paradise.
If y'all were wondering what the improvements are in the Babylon 5 remaster, read on.
We Revel in Nostalgia in Episode 259!
1/1/2024
I showed up, I said the thing. Can I go home now?
Is there any such thing as too much Spider-Man? The 2021 movie Spider-Man: No Way Home posits that of course there isn't! And our Merry Marvel Movie March agrees (for the most part). We may find the limits of our tolerance in 2024, as Adam has pointed out that there will be THREE Spider-Man-adjacent movies released... but none contain Spider-Man? An unusual year, to be sure!
Charlie makes reference to a meme about Gen Z not knowing who Willem Dafoe is, but when he tried to find it again to link to in the blog he couldn't. Does that mean he made it up in his head? Or, perhaps more likely, is Gen Z so embarrassed that they made sure to erase all traces of it from the internet? Watch out for our stunning expose on this story, sometime later maybe!!!
We Learn No Holiday Lessons in Episode 398!
12/25/2023
Nah, it's the clown ghosts you've got to worry about
[Editor's note: Since capitalist society puts "creating content" on a lower value rung than "stimulating the economy", the GW Report will not have an episode this week. However, we did happen upon a series of spooky cassette tapes at a garage sale that appear to be an episode of another podcast that, to our knowledge, was never released. Contemporaneous news reports suggest the participants disappeared and haven't been seen since. We found the following note wrapped around the tapes with a rubber band; the writing was either hurried and anxious or the result of vape-induced shakes. It is impossible to tell which. CONTENT WARNING: May contain Kylers.]
OK, this is episode 398, the second one with the clown ghost blood. I only put about 10 minutes on each tape just in case I hear something on the radio I like there's still space to record. Once I put it on my iPod it should be on the internet, as I understand it. Then I'll transcribe out onto a legal pad what I'm recording right now and label the episode. Oh, also I'm the co-host now. Yeah, I'll take three cartridges of the Juul Grape Ape Escape. Nah, no I don't have ID. Will you take this other card then? Thanks. And also a Powerball ticket. I can't use a card for that? Huh, never mind.
Adam has a Non-Urgent Emergency in Episode 257!
12/4/2023
Keep talking amongst yourselves, this might be a while
Episode 257 is not the first time we've discussed "urgency" and "emergency" in our podcast, and it certainly won't be the last. But it is the most recent, and so it's worth a listen!
If you want to explore the weirdness of Scavengers Reign completely spoiler-free, you can skip right from 10:08 to 16:54 in this episode. Adam may prefer that, since it then also makes it appear that he is in the bathroom a significantly shorter amount of time!
We Gather Great Minds in Episode 256!
11/21/2023
Like this, but pitch black
Rest assured that when Charlie has to gather a group of visionaries for The 1st Annual Gobeski/Wallace Report Summit, they will have some big ideas! Not GREAT ideas per se, but certainly consequential. And good news for those that live underground - your property value is about to increase exponentially! According to some, there will even be weather down there.
We reference too many news stories and absurd TV shows in this episode to be listed exhaustively, but we're always game for a prequel meme.
We Contemplate Seashells in Episode 255!
11/7/2023
Another Boomer refusing to change with the times
More Sci-Fi Shuffle coming at you, and this time it's the 1993 movie Demolition Man!
Screenwriter Daniel Waters put a lot of things in this movie that seem like they're a response to COVID but really he just thought were funny 30 years ago. So Comedy + Time = Tragedy? Interesting corollary, even if the math doesn't work out!
Before the world widely knew that a combination Taco Bell/Pizza Hut was possible, localization teams imagined you could only have one OR the other. Silly humans circa 1993!
Ugh, Doug keeps mentioning it, so we feel obligated to link to the definition of "Soy Boy".
We Technically Invent a Frasier-verse Spinoff in Episode 254!
10/23/2023
Tim Daly is too cool for crossovers
Tony isn't in episode 254... well, not the Tony that you're used to! In any case, he'll be happy to know that we talk "Wings", which is technically "Frasier" adjacent. We have all your favorite "Wings" cast members this time (unless you like Thomas Haden Church, he didn't show up).
In case you've been itching to get your hands on the complete "Wings" box set on DVD, here's your chance! Even the 1-star reviews complaining about the "atrocious" transfer still agree that it's a fantastic sitcom! Also – Becker! (This link was included exclusively for the benefit of Paul Wilcox.)
In case you don't believe that the air travel incident we discuss is real, behold. Unfortunately, it may have started a trend.
Last updated: October 21, 2024
